𝐇𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐇𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐫𝐢𝐱 | 𝟣𝟪+

|45| 𝒮𝓁ℯℯ𝓅 𝒽ℯ𝒶𝓁𝓈 𝓂ℯ

The sound makes my ears ring,
I fall onto my knees and feel
warm tears pour down my face.

I scream so loud that people miles
away could hear me,
I scream till my throat hurts and
silence isn't something near me.

My whole body burns, nobody is
around and maybe if I scream
loud enough someone will help me,

Maybe they'll realize this is my cry for
help, maybe all the negative emotions
and feelings I have will leave my body.

His arms wrap around my body, putting
my head on his shoulder and running
his hand over my back "let it all go"

He whispers "Let all of it go, it won't
help you, scream, cry,
do what you need to, I will hold you
if you can't stand when you're done,
don't be afraid, I'm here for you."

I want to look at him, to look into his
eyes, I know they will bring me more comfort, they will help me.

But the embarrassment I'm
experiencing is unbearable.

He shouldn't see me like this, no one
should see me like this, I'm disgusting

I completely shatter.

My whole body goes numb and
everything blurs, I feel nothing.
my muscles don't help anything,
I can barely keep my mouth shut.

He's here with me, slowly letting me
down, going to my level, crouching
down, and holding me in his arms.

I don't have the strength to push him
away, I don't 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 anything.
My eyes and throat are burning,

I need water or alcohol, or something to
drink, anything that will help with this.

My whole body hurts but is also numb,
I don't understand anything,
I try to scream again but when I open
my mouth only small cries leave,

I don't have any control.

I'm shaking in his arms, against his
chest, in front of people.
He's shielding me from their stares
but I'm still embarrassed

Why won't anything stop, everything
just keeps moving on,
the only thing that I feel is a million
eyes, my body is too numb
and I'm slowly losing my mind.

He pulls away to lift my head up
and look at me, he uses his fingers
to dry my tears while he whispers

"You're going to be okay, I have you,
Moya lyubov" I keep crying, nothing
will let me stop, I look into his eyes.

The pain that's in them only
makes me feel worse, he's trying
to be strong but I know him.

I'm causing him so much pain and
he's pretending it does not affect him.