Need You -N.H- Book Two

Twenty Eight: Long Way Down

Long Way Down

Niall pulls back the sheets on the bed for us while I strip from the tight dress. I hang it over the chair and pulls a loose sweater of my shoulders. We had been silent for most of the day, leaving the funeral grounds without much of a word to one another. I knew that if we spoke we would argue, talking about the last couple days and everything that had happened.

For now, laying in bed next to one another seemed like what was needed for the both of us. A chance to remember how wonderful it felt to be next to each other. He takes off his shirt, carefully one button at a time, not paying attention to me at all. But I couldn't take my eyes off him. He strips the shirt from him and throws it in a pile on the floor. His arms extend and it shows all the muscle that is there, straining it pulls back and he unbuttons his pants.

Everything ends up on the floor as he crawls into bed silently, before gently patting the bed for me to come join him. I do it without thinking and crawl in next to him easily. I tuck myself in beside him warm body and wrap my arms around him with ease until we are both comfortable.

It's a while of just soft breathing, chests rising and falling. His warm breath ignites the feeling in the back of my neck and his fingers rotate in tiny circles in the back of my hand. My other hand is tightly laced into his and I close my eyes just to stay in the moment of peace.

"He woke up just before it happened," I whisper, "Smiled at me. For the last week and a half everytime I close my eyes all I ever see is that. I haven't decided if it's helping or if it's making it worse."

Niall breathes out softly, the warm air down on my forehead. I know this is hurtful for him as well as me. That even though he's not saying it out loud his best friend is dead and that was a blow he wasn't ready to take. He doesn't say for a long time but eventually he opens his mouth.

"He used to do that all the time," He says laughing under his breath. "you know... smile, it was never a good thing."

I turn my head up to him, his eyes are closed and he's smiling to himself. "Every Time that idiot smiled at me, we ended up in trouble, with broken bones. Mum used to shake her head when we came home covered in blood, sweat and dirt."

Niall finally opens his eyes, looking down to me and giving me a small smile. He runs his hand along my jaw and sighs heavily. "Not to tonight." I whisper. "Not right now."

He nods, closing his eyes but I know that he's not giving up on the conversation that easy. His body is tense, and he shifts so he's looking at me. "No, I waited long enough. I was an idiot, I let my emotions get the better of me and I made the biggest mistake of my life."

He puts his hands through his hair, and drops his head to the mattress in defeat. I put my hand to his face, lifting it to mine and tilt my head to the side. "Because of that I've lost my best friends."

"I'm still here," I whisper, "even if he's not, I'm still here."

"But it will never be the same, I broke something in you. I drove my best friend away just because I was too stubborn to take his help. I fucked up Sarah and I'm so fucking sorry."