Need You -N.H- Book Two

Chapter Twenty Six; Unbroken

Unbroken

"Sarah you can't stay in there forever," Bradley bangs on the door, I have slammed a chair tightly underneath the door knob to keep him from opening it. When he left I had taken my position on the couch to watch a movie with Liz but it didn't last long because she slipped.

She said something about Bradley leaving in a hurry, wanting to get there quickly. But that made no sense, so I questioned it and she stumbled her words enough to make me realize. He hadn't gone to work, he had gone to Niall.

He didn't deserve that pity, or the right to hear the news. Not after over fifty phone calls only to be answered with silence on his end. He deserved to sulk in his own self pity, thinking his best friend was still alive but injured. It drove me insane to the core with anger that his foolish jealousy was standing in the way of grieving.

"Let me in Sarah so I can talk to you," he begs. Concern is stricken through his voice, hints of sadness and a trace of anger with my stubborn behaviour is evident.

"I can hear your lying voice just fine through the door," I snap from the bed. I'm still wearing the same old sweater that I had scooped from Louis, the smell fading from it now. My eyes were puffy and red from the tears that just wouldn't stop flowing over the days.

I wasn't even sure I'd be able to make the funeral at the end of the week. Leaving my safe bed, the quiet hum of my room seemed impossible. My knees were constantly in a weak state and my mind always turned with the deep regret of not saying the words to him sooner.

"I didn't mean to lie Sarah...I...I just didn't want to get your hopes up that I could bring him home."

"I didn't want him home," I say angrily.

I curl my legs up into my chest, the books at the end of my bed are ripped apart and thrown around the room. The play books only made me furious now, filled with confusion that was laced with grief. So much grief.

I hadn't been to the last two football games, but the girls had won them both. Liz called me yesterday morning after the win so I could listen to the girls celebrating in Lou's honor. Coach had given me leave for a while to get myself together but I wasn't sure how long it would be until I was ready to step out there again.

The grass turf would seem foreign and cold without the gentle chuckle of Lou beside me. The absence of his glass blue eyes, the way they crinkled at the sides in pure happiness would chill me to the core. I close my eyes as Bradley sighs, resting his hand heavily against the wooden door.

"He deserved to know that Lou is gone Bradley, he did. But he doesn't deserve to be here, be with me. To mourn something that he clearly does not care about and hasn't cared about for a very long time." I stop trying to calm myself, feeling the tone of my voice raising and the blood in my veins boiling.

"You have no idea how badly I just want to wrap up in him, cry for hours and pretend that everything's alright but I know better. I know that even in the fake sympathy that he would able to give me, the comfort he could offer. It wouldn't mean anything, he wouldn't be the same. He hasn't been the same since she came back, I don't know how to get him back from her. I don't know if I ever will and I'm scared."