Die for You

Chapter 26

I'd chanced a glance as I sped up the slip road and smiled as I spotted the BMW still on the motorway, heading for the hard shoulder presumably to back up and follow me again.

Ten minutes later I knew I was free and clear, I'd took a winding route to the next motorway junction and continued on my journey. There was no sign of the suspicious BMW, but I made a note to call the office and get it checked out. It was strange that someone would follow me, butt hen, I was in one of the Armstrong family's vehicles, so perhaps that was what had sparked it. I had their registration plate, I was sure that the guys in ops would be able to sort it out again.

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The rest of my journey was uneventful, and I pulled into the long road of the cemetery at just after half eleven. It didn't take me any more time to find my way to the small plot where my mother was buried, navigating my way through the headstones to the grave she had wanted, next to a broad oak tree.

To my relief, the grave itself was still fairly neat and tidy; suffering only marginally from my enforced neglect. I knelt down next to it and began to clear away the leaves that had fallen while I was in Afghanistan and had settled next to and on the granite stone, marring it's surface.

"Hi Mum, look... I'm really sorry I've not been to see you for a while, things have been a bit messed up, but I'm ok now, but then, I think you know that, don't you?"

I didn't believe in heaven, didn't believe in a lot if the truth was to be told, but I did believe that my mum was somewhere, even if it was only in the form of pure energy, and I believed that she would wait for me like she had promised she would on her deathbed, so that we could continue our journey together.

I don't know why I spoke to her whenever I came here, it just seemed right to do so. So I did, squatting next to her grave and spilling my guts. Telling her what had happened inAfghanistan, what had happened afterwards and why I'd totally missed coming to see her on her death anniversary. I poured my heart out as I tidied the grave until finally, when I'd emptied myself of everything inside, everything was in order.

"My whole life's a bit messed up at the moment, Mum," I told her as I stood, "but I'm getting myself sorted. I'll pay off my bills pretty quickly with what James pays me. I like the job and I really like the people I'm working with. I'll turn myself around, don't worry about that... I might not be around for a while, Mum. I've got a pretty busy schedule and I don't know when I'll be close again, but I promise I'll be back as soon as I can. Make sure you're looked after, okay?"

I was rewarded by nothing but silence, nothing but the gentle breeze blowing through the trees. I looked up at the darkening sky, the bad weather seeming to have followed me up from Bath, looming ominously in the distance.

"I'd better be going, Mum," I said placing my hand on the picture I'd had placed into the stone. "Ineed to get back to Bath, pick up my package and head back to London. I've been away far toolong. I'll see you soon. Bye, Mum."

It was with tangible regret that I turned to walk back to the car. I hadn't realized how distant I'd felt and how good it was to have my memories refreshed; replenished by that sense of proximity that visiting her grave always gave me. I was feeling much happier with myself as I picked my way back to the road, but it was with a sense of shock that I saw a silver car parked behind my own.

I dropped my body slightly and ducked behind a gravestone, looking around me carefully to check for danger. Seeing no one nearby, I picked my way carefully to the car and approached it from the back quarter, trying to stay out of the mirrors, trying to get close without being seen.