Infinite Probabilities (Engineering Series #1)

Chapter 28

Chapter 28

When I was a child, I thought I was living in a fairy tale. I grew up in the arms of my loving and caring parents. Ni minsan, hindi nila ipinaramdam sa akin na may kulang sa sarili ko. Kaya habang lumalaki ako, hindi ako naghahanap ng kalinga ng ibang tao dahil sa presensya pa lang nilang dalawa, ramdam kong wala na akong kailangang hanapin pa. They always spoiled me even if I was creating my own distances from them. I have never wished to marry anyone pero kung sakali mang nakatadhana akong magkaroon ng asawa, gusto ko iyong katulad ni papa. 

All my life, all I ever thought was that he was the epitome of a perfect father and a perfect husband. We were once a happy family but now, I was drowning with lies and I was indeed afraid if I could ever breathe freely again. 

"Totoo ba lahat ng 'yon? Iyon ba ang rason kung bakit nag aalala ka sa akin? Kung bakit…" my voice broke at the middle of my sentence. "K-Kung bakit binayaran mo lahat ng hospital expenses namin kahit na hindi ko naman 'yon hinihingi sa'yo?"

I cried while staring at Ajax. Sinubukan niyang hulihin ang kamay ko para sana pakalmahin ako pero mabilis ko iyong iniwas mula sa kanya. Kahit alas nuebe na ng gabi, nakiusap pa rin ako sa kanyang siputin ako kasi alam kong hindi ako papatulugin ng lahat ng mga tanong na bumabagabag sa isipan ko. Sa sobrang dami kong nalaman, ramdam kong kaunti na lang, mababaliw na ako sa sobrang sakit.

"I've ordered a lot so we should eat—

"Sa tingin mo ba magagawa ko pang kumain sa ganitong sitwasyon?! Please tell me everything, Ajax. Huwag mo na akong gawing tanga! Puro kasinungalingan lang ba ang sinabi mo sa akin noon?"

Mas lalong pumatak ang luha ko habang minamasdan ang emosyon sa mukha niya There was a deep sadness within his eyes and the next thing he said totally broke me into pieces. "I'm sorry."

Napatakip ako sa buong mukha ko dahil sa sobrang frustrations na nararamdaman ko ngayon. I couldn't help but to think about what I have done to suffer in a situation like this. Sobra sobra na ang bigat sa dibdib ko pero sinubukan ko pa ring bumwelo at nagpakawala ng isang malalim na buntong hininga.

"Tell me more. Gusto kong malaman lahat, Ajax. Nagmamakaawa ako. Sabihin mo sa'kin ang totoo… p-para isang sakit na lang."

I tried to face him bravely just so he would know that I'm ready for the truth. Kahit na alam kong unti unti ako nitong papatayin sa sakit. 

"I was just six when my dad left me to be with your mom."

He started to become emotional too and that explains the connection I felt the first time I met him.

"I was still young when I learned about the truth so it was never really hard to accept it because I've been carrying it for all the years. There are times that I would secretly sneak out and cut classes just to see my dad from afar. I can see how much he loves you and that's something he never did to me. My mom no longer cares about him because she was also interested in another man. She did love and take care of me but my younger self couldn't help to wish that someday…during all my birthday celebrations, she would request dad to come and visit me…but she never did."

Iyong inaakala kong masaya at matatag na pamilya, bunga lang pala ng isang malaking kasinungalingan. We are just a second family. At si Ajax, siya iyong unang anak ni papa.

"I got used to that pain until I no longer crave for his presence anymore. When I heard the news about him going out of the country, I started finding more about you. God knows how much I longed for a younger sister. Mom told me that I was supposed to have a twin but she didn't survive in her womb. I couldn't help but to wish that she's here too so I won't be alone in my most depressive days."