Won't he consider me Ever? (Completed)

Episode 19

' He had sex with me, thinking am his lover. He named Varun after his lover name. He married me to get revenge for his died love. He lived with me to show the hell for his lover. '

' Where am in this?'

' Where? '

' Nowhere'

'Nowhere'

'Past 30 years I lived a life where I was treated as shit. Nothing else.'

'So I decided this, Leaving him. So I left the life which I once loved. Left the marriage. Left the nuptial chain, the symbol of our marriage. Left my identity as Mrs. Arjun. Left my only one love my Varun.'

'Varun, it was a very tough decision. But i taken that, as I know I can't give the life which Varun needs for a bright future. Since I don't know whether there will be any future is there for me or not. So I left him. I left him since I don't want him to grow up without anyone beside him. I want him to get a grandparents love. Especially his dad love. Since I know how much arjun loves his son. I sacrificed my love for Varun's future. After all I promised my son when I had him in my arms for the first time. That no matter what he will be always loved by everyone, especially he will get his dad love. Only I knows the pain. The pain of being left out. I don't want my son to be like that. '

' But now you have a parents ae yours, even if they are not your real parents they are taking care of you as their own. Then why don't go and apply for varun custody. 'my mind asked me.

' I won't. I won't do that. Only I knows how much he earned for his father's love. Everytime he questioned me that why his dad is not at all taking him out whereas his friends dad taking his friends out. But for varun it will be always either me or his grandad. Varun is nothing but like me. Only difference is I know about my dad character but here varun don't know and then my dad is a cruel one, but here varun dad is a good man atleast for his son. With him he can become whatever he want. Since arjun is wealthy to provide the studies watever my son want. Whereas I don't know my future myself. So I acted as selfish. Every mother will be selfish in this. And so I. '

As I don't had any future, I don't want to take my son with me.

I left him.

I left him like a motherless child.

A child who showered me with his love.

He is the one who gave me a definition of life. He is the one who taught me what is love. He is the one who taught me what is a real smile.

I still remember fresh, his first word which is nothing but Amma. His first laugh. The moment when he started to walk.

My tears were spilling on its own.

"Amma is sorry varun kanna. Your mumma loves you a lot kanna." I murmured by lieing on the cold floor.

"Your mumma is sorry kanna, your mumma is nothing but a failure kanna. Just don't hate your mumma. I want a bright future for you kanna. "

After coming out of my in laws home. I don't know where to go, and what to do. All I did is walks aimlessly.

I just boarded a train without even having a ticket.

That is when I seen them. A loving old couple.

I got penalty for not having a ticket, When the TTR asks for a penalty, I didn't even bale to a swe him properly. So he strayed to scold me in a vulgar language that's when this old couple helped me.

After that they both started to ask about me. But all I said is am a orphan.

Its amma then who asked me whether I can be their child. I thought for a minute before accepting that option. But later I accepted since I don't have anything else in hand to leave, even if they were a bad persons. After that they themselves introduced saying that they both were running a small hotel in kanyakumari and their son left them with his wife after marriage and after that he is not at all visiting them. As their daughter in law don't like to be with them.