May It Be Forever

PATIENCE

Eight months had passed and there was still no invasion. It was October, and Christmas was approaching. The tests had not yet been conducted.

"It's impossible! You don't understand! I'll never be able to pass these tests!"

I was staring at him. Peter was almost in tears. I tried to ask Guilherme to train with him more, but Guilherme was too busy.

When I went down the stairs and headed to the kitchen, I saw Luana rummaging through my fridge.

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

She was startled and almost knocked over the glass bottle of milk.

"Oh... Hi, Emi. Good morning!"

"What are you doing here?" I asked again.

Luana was the kind of girl who lost herself in her own thoughts. She danced over to me and put her arms around my neck.

"Oh, Emi... Look for yourself, it's been exactly eight months, and nothing. Not even a sign of Richard."

"Well?"

"Well?" she repeated. "Let's relax a little."

I let go of her arms.

"I'm sorry, Luna. I'm going to train, I have to help Peter..."

"You're so worried about him! He can take care of himself, Emi. He's not a child!"

I left her talking to herself and then left. She might be angry with me, I couldn't care less. I walked calmly to the building on the north side of town.

I slowly hummed and hopped around. The sky was blue; it was calm that day. I entered the building, there was a huge line with people who were unemployed, the situation was getting precarious. I saw Efraim, but no Guilherme.

"Efraim!" I called out to him. He looked at me and smiled. He had never smiled at me before.

He came closer to me.

"Have you seen Guilherme?"

"No." he said politely.

I stepped away from him, he followed me. And he said "Wait, Emi!"

"What?" I turned around and he held my shoulders lightly. He looked at me, leaned over and hugged me.

"Sorry" he whispered in my ear.

I managed to get out of his tight embrace.

"What's wrong with you?" I exclaimed angrily.

He lowered his head.

"I just wanted to apologize for being so hard on you, but never mind." he slowly walked away.

"No, wait!" I felt bad for him. "Efraim! Wait, wait, wait, wait! Look... I'm sorry too... This hasn't been easy for me at all, you know?"

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, then opened them.

"I've been a jerk to you, I'm sorry... It must be very hard for you, I imagine, knowing that all these people are liable to die, because of you, and if I were in your place I would feel the same way."

He leaned on me.

"What are you implying?" I turned away from him.

"You know, Emi. If I were you, I would turn myself in. Look at these innocent people. They're going to die. All of them."

I looked at them and I felt guilty. I really was guilty for all of this. My conscience felt guilty. I felt a twinge in my chest.

On one hand, Efraim was right. I had even considered surrendering before, but then I thought about my parents, I thought about my old friends, I thought about my new friends, how would they react to this? On the other hand, it was the right thing to do, to put an end to this tension once and for all. I was restless. I could feel fear in every muscle, in every cell of my body. I crouched down and covered my face with my hands. I felt a hand on my shoulder, it was Efraim's hand. He put my head on his shoulder and stroked my face.