If only...

20.confusion

"Why are you late today"
Rose said that as she cut the food in her plate,

"I missed my alarm"
I said that hesitantly because I don't like to lie

" hmmm, by the way what did that snake want from you yesterday"
Rose said that while looking at me seriously

" Which snake, I don't understand?"

I said that and I know very well who she was talking about.

"Sam ... Sam Moore, the famous girl from the business administration department"

She was asking me as if she was interrogating me so I was nervous because I couldn't tell her the truth, so I had to lie.

"yeah ,Sam ... She was asking me ... asking me about one of the students in our department."
I said that nervously as I drank from the juice in front of me.

"And who is that girl I asked you about? I don't think the snake would be interested in any of the students in our department, otherwise we would have heard the rumors or seen them together."
Rose said that, not being Not convinced by what I said.

" why do we talk about things like this? Are you like Emily love gossip and rumours!"
I said that with a fake smile trying to end our conversation about Sam because if we continue I will not survive her questioning.

" I don't care about gossip mon, I care about you you, are my best friend ... you mean to me more than you think and I don't want to see anyone hurt you"
Rose said that sternly, while holding my hand in hers.

"Why do you say something like that Rose?! no one is going to hurt me no..."
I said that to reassure her while holding her hand tightly but she cut me off and said:
" the person who makes you lie to your friends and family can hurt you Mon"
she said looking straight at me, what  She said it made me open my mouth in shock unable to say anything.

"What do you mean?, I didn't lie"
I said that as I prayed she didn't mean what I was thinking, does she know I lied to her yesterday, does she know I wasn't home yesterday?

"You know very well what I mean, yesterday I saw you riding in Sam's car and leaving the university with her, and at night when I called you you did not answer my calls and the same thing with your father, so your father called me to reassure you and I lied in order to reassure him and told him that you were with me."
She said that which made me so shocked and ashamed that I couldn't even look at her.

"I don't want you to feel ashamed of me, I want you to tell me the truth so that I can help you and protect you, that girl is so nasty, everyone knows she's a player and a pleasure seeker, she doesn't even date, she just has sex with any girl that appears in front of her."
Rose said that annoyed and nervous.

"Not everything you hear is true r ..."

"WTF mon, Are you defending her now? ...  wait, don't tell me  that you fell into her net?"
Rose said that angrily as if she was scolding me

" I didn't defend anyone, I just don't want to talk about that  any more"
I said that because I couldn't bear to hear about what I was running away from
"no mon we have to talk about That, I don't want to see her use you and get rid of you later, you are c ..."
Rose said that nervously and  she could hardly lower her voice, her words hurt me because I knew very well that I was wrong but I don't want to hear that and I don't want to hear anyone talk about Sam that way, I know  Most of what she say about her is true, but she was not bad with me and never deceived me or manipulated me, I fell in love with her and allowed her to be more than a friend and gave myself to her with my full consent.
I interrupted Rose's words and told her that I was going home then  I left the table ignoring Rose who was trying to catch up with me, I took a taxi and headed home, when I arrived I went straight to my room and didn't leave it for the rest of the day except for  spent some time with my dad when he came back from work because I missed him so much.