Camo and Navy Blue [Book Two]

Twenty-Four

Olivia

We spent the night at the hospital, so when the funeral home came to pick her up, she wasn't alone. By the time we got home, the twins and Jacob were in bed and my mother was sleeping on the sofa. Elliot and I walked past her without saying a word and made our way upstairs to our bedroom.

"Tomorrow we need to go down to the funeral home and start planning the service," Elliot yawned as he shut the door tightly behind us. 

"I don't want to," I admitted weakly. Elliot turned to look at me and frowned. He bridged the gap between us before looping his arms around my body. He placed a few soft kisses on my hair.

"I don't want to either, but it's important that we do. Maureen needs a proper sendoff, and all of her friends need to say goodbye to her," Elliot replied gently, his arms still wrapped around my body.

"What should I dress her in? And-"

"Liv, it's late. I think we need to go to bed. Everything can wait until tomorrow."

"It's already tomorrow..."

///

Elliot and I went to the funeral home the next morning. My mother was still at the house with the boys, while Bernie was at the hospital with Lilly and Kathleen. I had been getting texts from the crew all morning, but I didn't have the energy to respond, or to see their condolences.

"Now, would you like to do a viewing before the service?" Mr. Olson asked from the opposite side of the table.

"Liv, what do you want to do?" Elliot asked softly. 

"Um, sure," I replied plainly, my eyes locked to the picture I was holding in my hands. It was one of Maureen's senior pictures, and this is what we wanted her to look like. The bouncy blonde curls, rosy cheeks... but they wouldn't be able to include the beautiful smile that always made my heart swell with love for my little girl.

"Now, we have been in contact with your priest. I'll be handling all the details at the church, and he'll do the speaking at the funeral," Mr. Olson spoke to Elliot, since I was zoned out. 

The last thing I wanted to do was bury my daughter, but I can't go back and make one decision differently and bring her back. She was already in heaven with Kathy, even if I wanted her here. Even though I wanted to hold my little girl tightly in my arms once more.

We picked out a casket for Maureen, and then we handed over the picture and the clothes we had brought for her. As we got ready to walk out, I stopped and reached into the pocket of my jeans.

"El?" I asked weakly.

"Yeah?"

"Should we give them this, too?" I questioned weakly, holding the gold cross necklace out for Elliot to see. Before Mr. Olson left with Maureen's body, the cross necklace had been given back to me. I had put it straight into my pocket because I didn't want to look at it. 

Elliot reached out and ran his fingers over the cold metal before nodding slowly.

"Kathy and I gave this to her for the last birthday we celebrated together before Kathy passed away... Mo needs this," Elliot breathed. 

///

We had to wait over a week before having Maureen's viewing and funeral. We wanted to make sure all of our kids could be there, along with Elliot's siblings and anyone from Kathy's side of the family. 

Kathleen was still not doing amazing, but luckily her internal bleeding subsided and she wasn't having any issues from her skull fracture, thankfully. But she was released from the hospital and was allowed to attend the service.

The kids sat on the front pew with their grandmothers while Elliot and I stood near the doors and greeted everyone as they came in. Maureen's entire class came to say their goodbyes, along with a lot of her teachers. I know that her passing was hard for our family, but seeing how many people our daughter affected was incredible. So many people cared deeply about her and loved her.

"It's about time to shut the doors," Elliot sighed, as he stepped to the open doors and stared onto the packed street.

"I knew our daughter was amazing, but I still didn't expect for the turnout to be this big. We filled the entire church, and people are even standing against the walls," I replied, as I stepped closer to him and wrapped an arm around his waist. Elliot reached a hand up and wiped a few tears from his cheeks.

"El-" I started.

"I've tried to be strong for you, Liv. For the kids and my mother... but I can't be strong anymore. It's really hitting home now that my firstborn is gone. I won't be able to walk her down the aisle at her wedding or watch her graduate. There will be no grandchildren from her or a father-daughter dance. She was the one that made me a father, but now my life just seems so empty without her," Elliot whimpered, his eyes still focused on the street.

"I'm sorry, El. I have been focused too much on my grief and haven't even checked in with you. I apologize for that... that empty feeling should fade eventually, and I pray it does for you."

"You don't know about this feeling, Liv," He snapped. I grabbed his arm and forced him to turn and looked at me.

"No, I don't know how empty you feel. You lost a child that you watched grow from birth, and you experienced every milestone with her. I lost my son, and I felt like I lost a huge part of my heart, but it gets better. You have six other kids that will help ease the pain," I breathed, as I attempted to not get mean with my husband.

Elliot swallowed hard and nodded slowly.

"I'm-"

"Nope, don't apologize. Just don't block me out, because we need each other. I may not have given birth to Maureen, but she's just as much my baby."

"And today is the last day we get to see our baby," Elliot whimpered, before stepping forward and wrapping his arms around my body.