Forgot About Us

Chapter 6

Amber’s Point of View

I didn’t come out of my room all afternoon, I just cried and cried not minding if my illness will attack again. I just really want to be alone and force myself not to believe what I was. I have a lot of questions popping on my mind that only Asher can answer me.

There’s only one thing that I would like to do now talk to him in person and let him explain everything to me. I’m still crying even though its very hard to breath. After a while, my bedroom door suddenly opened and I was surprised by the person who entered.

“Love you’re here? Why only now?” Its difficult for me to speak because I’m having a hard time breathing and I know my illness is attacking me now.
“Asher please don’t leave me.” He tightened his grip on me and carried me to the car. Dad was the driver while Mama and Asher were next to me.

When we arrived at the hospital, I was immediately taken on a stretcher straight to the emergency room.
As soon as we entered, they immediately   transferred to the hospital bed for examination and to take blood and send it to the laboratory for tests to be done.

My breathing is getting better because of the inhaler I’m wearing, so I can already hear what mom and the doctor are talking about.

“Ma’am and sir, I want you to answer my questions about her health history.” Mm first looked at me and tried to smile, a smile mixed with sadness and pity for me.

“Our daughter has FDCM stage C, that’s why she always experiences chest tightness and difficulty in breathing.” Mom’s story to the doctor is right my disease is stage C so we are looking for a heart donor for me. I need to undergo a heart transplant as soon as possible because if I can’t it will lead to my early death. Asher suddenly approached me and held my hands.

“I’m sorry, sorry for everything.” I stared at him, I looked at him with sadness, regret, pity and guilt in his eyes. But I just ignored that and turned my attention back to mom.

“Is she taking any medicine?” The doctor asked.

“Yes, she is.”

“In that case, we need to contact her former doctor so that we can talk about the results of her tests. I know that you’re losing hope in everything, but don’t worry God is always there for you and we will also do everything to find a heart donor for her as soon as possible. I will go first.” The doctor just patted Dad’s shoulder before leaving and will also come back later to inform me of the results of the tests that were done.

In the evening mom and dad went home first to get my some of my things, so Asher and I ware the only one’s left here in my hospital room. We don’t talk to each other because he is very quiet and very distance from me. I want to ask if there is a problem but I don’t know how to say it, because I’m  afraid of what he will answer.

“Can we talk? Anywhere but not here, somewhere private.” I was shocked by his question so I just nodded. He come to me and helped me get off the bed. He also pushed my dextrose for me. He took me to the garden of the hospital, and we sat on the bench there. I looked around there were people here but not too many. It was also bright because of the lights on the plants.

“I’m sorry if I only visited you today.” I looked at him and then smiled.

“It’s okay, I know you’re busy with your work.” I pretended that I didn’t what he was doing behind my back

“I know you already know the news that Bea and I have gotten back together. That’s why I talked to you because I wanted to say something, I’m breaking up with you.” I just bowed down because I knew this was going to happen, my tears started to fall but I held it back as long as I could.

“Why? Why did you fool me Asher? I thought you love me.” I asked him trying to steady myself.

“Yea I’d loved you but when I saw Bea again in Singapore, I realized that I love Bea more than you. That I only love you because I see her in you.” I stood up and slapped him very hard in the face.

“You made me a rebound, do you know that for 5 years I love you so much more than myself while you, you only loved me because you were seeing your ex who is a friend of mine on me. You know it hurts so much, don’t you? You made me look like a fool and then you even proposed to me huh? “He was still sitting while bowing his head. I just covered my face and started crying.

“I loved you Amber believes me.”

“You loved me? but how could you manage to hurt me? and could you manage to fool me?” I ask him calmly.

“Sorry.” I slapped him again for the second time.

“I don’t need your sorry, I need answers to my questions from you!” I shouted at him while crying.

“I don’ intend to hurt and fool you.” I just tried to laugh.

“You didn’t intend to hurt me, because your intention was to make me look like a fool to everyone, Asher we were still engaged and then you got back together with him. Am I so worthless to you that you couldn’t even respect me?”

“Please Amber, lets break up. Let go of me and forget that we’re engaged.” He begged me.

I can’t, I can’t let him go, even if I beg him not to leave me, I will do it. Because I can’t see myself without him by my side. I slowly knelt in front of him and held his hands.

“I’m begging you, don’t break up with me I can’t.” He was surprised because of what I did so he stood up and made me stand up.

“I’m sorry but it’s gone, I don’t love you anymore and I can’t hurt Bea again because I love her.” It was like a big bomb hit my chest after hearing what he said.

“So, is it really gone? Is it over?” I cried even more because he just avoided looking at me. Silence means yes, so I slowly turned my back and walked away from him while crying. I held my engagement ring while whispering.

“I’ll let you go when I’m ready.”