The night air blew through June Marchs hair, her dark locks brushing across her shoulders. She sat in a t-shirt and shorts that Rafe had gotten her from the gas station, wrist deep in a bag of gummy worms and drunk off of two bottles of wine she had stolen from the event. The warmth in her body from the alcohol protected her from the breeze, and she closed her eyes, the music from the radio of Rafes car soothing her. She was sat on the hood, her knees pulled to her chest as she indulged in her snack and her drink, a pack of beers he had picked out at the same gas station. He had pulled the car over in an unknown destination, an outlet of water surrounding them. The funny thing is that she trusted him to take care of her out here, trusted him to have her alone. Because anywhere with someone else was better than nowhere alone.
She hummed to the soft music playing on the radio, her head bobbing back and forth as she heard the distant sounds of water splashes. Rate wasn't very far from where she was sitting, the boy attempting to skip rocks across the water, trying to find a way to kill time while they had stopped. June had insisted on not going home, on not ending the night on a bad note, Rafe opting to pull over and make the most of what they had. It was nearing midnight, he knew that whoever had the cross already had it, but he didn't check his phone, not wanting to ruin the night by finding out. It wasn't about the cross right now, it was about them.
"Can you come open this beer for me?" June broke the peace of the silent air, her eyes opening as she held out the can to him. He was blurry on approached, only clearing up when he was standing right in front of her. He was still wearing his dress pants, his white shirt untucked and unbutton, showing the white tank he had under it. She let out a breath at the way the tie hung loosely and undone around his neck, her eyes latching onto his hands as he popped the can open for her. He handed it back, June giving him a thankful nod as she found herself unable to look away. She felt like she hadn't been drunk in years, it was a delightful feeling to be careless, her worries and transgressions washing away with the alcohol. Rafe turned away to go back to throwing the rocks but she was quicker than him, her arm shooting out and her fingers closing around his wrist. She pulled him back, the Cameron boy looking at her confused as she chugged half of the beer. "Don't go. Sit and talk with me."
His heart skipped a beat and he really thought about it for a moment, not knowing what to do. This night had changed his entire outlook on their relationship, and he knew he couldn't ruin it by giving in now. But the soft and sincere look in her eyes made him melt, so he slid onto the hood of the car with her. She put on a victorious smile, lifting the bag of gummy worms towards him. He appreciated the gesture, pulling one out and biting it, June giving him a contented smile as he chewed it. She took another sip of her beer, feeling the urge to speak appear out of the depths of her body, her intoxication preventing her from being able to stop them.
"Who would've thought huh? Who would've thought we'd be here, the middle of nowhere, sharing a bag of gummy worms?" She laughed to herself, Rafe just watching her as she seemed to come to terms with what was happening. "And the crazy thing is that I'm not even scared. A month ago I was having nightmares about you, and now I'm not even scared."
He felt like someone stabbed him through the chest, her body going into a momentary shock as he registered her words. He felt guilt and regret and self hatred at an all time high, realizing that the things he had done to her had scarred her. Nightmares. He was the villain in her life and she had been having nightmares. He wished he could turn back time, he wished he could change things. But he couldn't, this fact ripping him apart.
"Do you...do you ever look at where you are and wonder what the hell you're going to do with yourself now? Are you ever just so...so lost that you have absolutely no clue where to even start?" She stared out at the water while he stared at her, his chest aching at the look of anguish on her face. He yearned for the times when she was sure of herself, when she knew who she was because those were the times when she was happy, and he hated seeing his June so terribly broken down. For a moment longer he thought about her, and then he turned his head, looking out at the water and really considering the words she had said. He felt lost all the time, sometimes so much so that even she couldn't help him find his way back. Especially here recently, when she had been gone. "Do you remember 2 summers ago when you and I snuck out of Midsummers and disappeared onto the ferry?"
