No ones pov
Felix sat in his room for the fifth day in a row now, his stomach knotted and his cheeks stained with days of tears.
He couldn't cope without them, without chan jisung and jeongin. He just couldn't, he would be attending his own funeral in two days...they wouldn't be able to see him, he wouldn't be able to tell them hes ok.... he couldn't tell them to move on....
Felix let more tears run down his pink cheeks from his puffy eyes and hugged tightly onto a plushie jisung had gotten him when he was only ten years old.
" I miss you all" he sobbed into it "I wanna go home, I wanna hug you again " A lemon scent hit him in the face only making everything feel worse " stop thinking about me jeongin, I cant take it"
He looked up to the I pad, he sat up still hugging the soft squirrel plushie.
He snatched the I pad from the side and typed the youngest name into it watching what he was doing hoping it would make him feel better
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Jeongin was sprawled out across his bed, tears slipping down his pale cheeks.
" felix" he choked out " why did I let you run off... why did I let us go into that stupid FUCKING ALLEYWAY!" He pounded his fist against his mattress " WHY WHY WHY! I CANT DO THIS! I CANT GRADUATE WITHOUT YOU LIX! GIVE ME A SIGN! ANYTHING! " he pled , his heart ached " lixie..." he sobbed out " please "
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Felix turned it off and then typed in jisungs name
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Jisung held the bag of Felix's possessions close to his chest as he breathed heavily
" you cant cry jisung " he told himself " you can't. You have to be there for jeongin...... you cant kill yourself to be with him get that stupid thought out of your head!"
He took out Felix's cologne and sprayed the whole area around him with it
" caramel...." he said to himself
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Felix finnaly typed in chans name and began fo watch, the void in his heart now even more empty than before
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Bangchan walked the streets with his boyfriend " changbin " he spoke, holding the youngers hand tightly " I failed him.... if I had only ran a little bit faster and caught him this wouldn't have happened.... it's all my fault that lixies gone! That jisung and innie are considering ending it all"
Changbin stopped them both in the middle of the street and cupped the tallers cheek
" baby, it is not your fault " he re assured , running his thumb over chans cheek " it's no ones fault, I know what this feels like. You know I lost one of my closest friends too... you will blame yourself for a few months, but then you'll come to terms with it.... I still smell hyunie sometimes even when I haven't sprayed his strawberry perfume everywhere. What I'm trying to say is.... he may be gone physically. But hes with you, just remember that " he pecked his lips softly
" thank you my love" chan said, tears threatening to spill all over again " can I have a hug?"
Changbin nodded and pulled the older into a firm hug
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Felix wiped away his tears and placed the I pad back down
" I want to go home " he spoke, his heart only sinking further into his stomach " I want to go home. I want to go home. I want to go home iwannagohomeiwannahohomeiwannagohome I WANT TO GO HOME!" He wailed , his bedroom door burst open, in rushed hyunjin " I WANT TO KILL MYSELF OVER AND OVER AND OVER UNTIL IM TOO NUMB TO FEEL ANYTHING ANYMORE"
Hyunjin looked at him with pitiful eyes "cmon, we are going to see them"
Felix looked at the older with wide eyes " how?" He asked
" my powers " he took Felix's hand in his " hold on tight "
Felix nodded and hyunjin snapped his fingers , they landed in a familiar room, jeongins room.
Felix looked at the young boy who sat on his bed crying.
" heres your sign" he spoke before sitting on the bed beside the boy and putting his arms around him, jeongin clearly felt it and relaxed into his hyungs touch " I love you" he whispered making the youngers eyes well with tears " graduate , be a grade A student. Become the good man you are destined to be, dont let me stop you. Understand?"
The younger nodded, though unable to see felix he felt his presence and his soft whispering floating through the air .
" I love you felix-hyung" he finnaly spoke making Felix's heart fill up just a little bit more "I know you're not here and this is my imagination, but if you're listening , I love you. I'll graduate.... for you, you better watch "
Felix let out a tearful chuckle and waited for his friend to fall asleep before giving him a kiss on the head and carefully leaving the bed. Putting one of the plushies he had brought for the boy in his arms instead
He took hyunjins hand and the older jumped them into jisungs room, he was singing a sad song whilst tears slipped down his squirrel cheeks.
" jisung-ah!" Felix called out, jisungs head shot up and he looked around the room... no one.... " I LOVE YOU JISUNG-AH! DONT KILL YOURSELF IM ALWAYS HERE WITH YOU EVEN IF YOU DONT SEE ME"
Jisungs face softened, he smiled gently turning the music off and holding felix hoodie close to his nose taking a wiff of his sweet caramel scent
" I love you too lixie.... and I promise again that I wont forget that you love me too. "
Felix smiled and nodded
" dont take me to chan" he said " hes on a date....can we go back? I feel much better now.... thank you"
Hyunjin simply nodded , took the boys hand and transported them back to the dorm
