Invincible

ninety-nine

He'd got carried away and now he was regretting it, turning away from Isaac's stunned face and parted lips.

"I'm sorry," he said with a self-mocking laugh. He rubbed his hands over his face. They were trembling slightly. "That was fucking weird. I'm sorry."

Everything in him was screaming to run away, and he might've done had Isaac's hands not reached out for him.

"You're so daft," Isaac was laughing softly. "C'mere. You're a big dumb idiot, J."

Jared's thoughts were whirling and he felt sort of breathless, allowing himself to be manoeuvred until he was sat leaning against the tree beside Isaac with Isaac's face just above his.

"I adore you," said Isaac, and dipped down to kiss him on the nose. Jared couldn't speak for the feelings in him- it felt like he was about to explode with happiness, with want and gratefulness and love. And shit, fuck, he wanted to say 'I love you' but the words were too big to get through his throat. So he smiled instead (beamed, really), and Isaac kissed that as well.

Jared strained upwards to kiss him back properly, hot and open-mouthed because he'd been waiting so long for this, for Isaac's soft little sounds at the back of his throat, for him pressing back fiercely, clutching at Jared's shirt, lips making promise upon wordless promise. Jared couldn't help but press closer as their tongues met, hand going to the back of Isaac's neck and fingers pushing into his hair, desperate and greedy as Isaac gave back all he had (always gave back all he had). What started out fierce ended tenderly, slower and softer, both trying helplessly to delay coming up for air. When they parted Isaac's cheeks were flushed and his mouth was red and Jared couldn't help but place another kiss there, feeling Isaac smile against his lips.

"I've wanted to do that for so fucking long," he told Isaac breathlessly, their faces still very close together. His hand was still at the nape of Isaac's neck and he tangled his fingers in the soft tendrils of hair there, eyes on Isaac's eyes, the overwhelming happiness in them making his chest tighten.

"I'm so-" began Isaac after a few moments. A shaky little laugh fell out of his lips. "I'm so relieved, J. I wasn't sure you felt- like I did."

"And you call me an idiot?" grumbled Jared, shuffling himself up so he could get an arm round Isaac's waist. "Wasn't it kinda a big hint when you kept waking up to me staring at your face?"

"Could've just been wondering who this weirdo in your bed was," reasoned Isaac, grinning happily as he snuggled them closer together.

"Oh yeah," Jared scoffed. "Obviously that was it. And I just spent all those nights cuddling you because-?"

"-you were too embarrassed to get out your teddy bear while I was there, of course."

"Of course," returned Jared sarcastically, not bothering to hold back a smile, and then ended the conversation with another kiss. He smirked as Isaac's breath caught audibly, kissing deeper until Isaac gasped.

"You're so fucking lovely," he whispered in wonder against Isaac's lips, even the swearword sounding butterfly-soft. Isaac blinked, eyes wide, then beamed and pressed their lips together again in the new-morning excitement of being allowed. He kissed inexpertly, clumsily, eager and warm and beautiful, hand reaching over Jared to lean on the bark and enclose him in their own little world. And oh, it felt like a whole world- a whole world in Isaac's secret smirk, in his only-we-know eyes.

"Tell me something I don't know," he murmured mischievously, drawing back. Jared laughed, breathless, and Isaac caught the laugh right out of his mouth. "But yes, you're lovely too. And really, really attractive, J, seriously. This" - he ran a hand fondly down Jared's cheek and chuckled at his little shiver - "drives me crazy."

"My face?" asked Jared amusedly.

"Mhm." Kisses on his cheekbones, kisses at the corners of his mouth. Jared swallowed because he shouldn't - couldn't - be this flustered after all they'd done was kiss.

"Really?"

And Isaac's eyes were hazier now as he fixed them on Jared's and whispered back,

"Really really,", smirking again as Jared turned them over so Isaac was laid in the grass with Jared looking down at him.

"You know something about you that drives me crazy, Isaac?" he said in a low voice. Isaac's answering smile was blinding. "Apart from your stupid grin and your stupid lips, I mean."

"What?" Isaac was daring, challenging, one eyebrow playfully raised as if he were in control, even with his back against the grass. Jared caught his wrists and kissed them, said,

"These stupid fucking sweaters you always wear. Like, why the fuck don't you ever buy ones that actually fit, dude?" - he was trying to frown but the laughter came breathless through his voice - "They're always too big and you look so fucking cute in them, Isaac, it's hell. I swear- half of me wants to rip them off you and the other half wants to take you home and do something fucking cliché like make you hot chocolate and cuddle."

Isaac's breath hitched and Jared laughed, his heart so full that it seemed to be shouting 'I love you' with every beat. He wanted to say it but the words seemed too powerful- what if they destroyed this, what if they scared Isaac away.

"You like the sound of that?" he questioned instead, grinning, and Isaac rolled his eyes because he was a little shit (whom Jared was completely fucking in love with, fuck).

"Sorry J, got distracted by you saying 'fucking' like a million and one times." He giggled at his own joke (actually giggled, this blithe, dizzying sound that Jared wanted to hear every day for the rest of his life).

"Maybe that's my subconscious trying to tell me something," retorted Jared. Isaac's dimples flashed into full force and he laughed again, said,

"Steady there, Romeo," as he pushed his hands under Jared's top.

"Hypocrite," gasped Jared, arms trembling.

"Oh yeah?" Isaac flipped them over again, smirking down at Jared as he sat across his hips. "You want me to stop?"

"No," came Jared's forceful reply.

"Good, cos I've never given someone a hickey and I kinda wanna try putting one on your neck. That okay with you?"

"What do you fucking think, Isaac," Jared growled out, trying in vain to remember which way was up or down as Isaac pressed his warm mouth to the left side of Jared's throat.

———o———-

In Jared's drive, just after turning the car's engine off, Isaac told him some stupid joke about carrots or something that he'd heard the other day and thought was absolutely fucking hilarious. Soon he was laughing at himself, all warm and giggly with mouth kiss-red and eyes sunshine-bright. And suddenly Jared couldn't hold it in anymore.

"I love you," he blurted. Isaac's hand froze on the door handle. His voice, when he spoke, was cautious.

"Really?"

He wasn't looking at Jared. Everything was very, very still (except for Jared's heart- that was speeding so fast it sounded like hummingbirds' wings).

"Yeah, really," he said quietly, and waited as Isaac's eyes rose slowly to his. The most beautiful, private smile he'd ever seen was playing at Isaac's lips and it was for him, surely-

"Okay," said Isaac softly, and leaned forward to kiss him gently on the mouth.