epiphany / jean kirstein

four

play: graceland too - phoebe bridgers

The walk to my best friend's house was the same every time. Cut through town and a small patch of woods until I get to a small pond. Then walk down a windy dirt path until the farm and cottage were in my line of sight. If the weather was nice, she'd be sitting on her rocking chair on the front porch. If not, she'd be inside, either cooking or reading. Today was warm and sunny. Spring is creeping its way into Paradis. I'm not complaining, the cold months are always agonizing.

The sight of long blonde hair caused a smile to come across my face. I've been close with Historia ever since the training camp. With her being queen, and me being in the military, I don't see her as often as I'd like. Twice a month, if I'm lucky. There wasn't much to be done today, so I took the opportunity to go see her.

"Lina?" Her voice rang out as I got closer. I made my way up the stairs of her porch and grinned wide.

"That's me!" My arms wrapped around her in a gentle hug, careful not to put too much pressure on her stomach. "How are you doing, Hisu?"

She took a deep breath and looked out to the land ahead of us. It seemed infinite, not a single house or building in sight. "I'm alright, I suppose. What the hell happened to your neck?"

I knew she was going to ask me that. I brushed my fingers over the bruises, my mind wandering to the events of six nights ago. "It's a long story that I'd rather not get into, but long story short, I got strangled. I'm okay though."

"Is that why you sound like a ninety year old man?"

I paused for a moment, side eyeing her. "Yes. Now, can we please talk about something else? What's going on in your life?"

She laughed dryly, "absolutely nothing. I'm just waiting for this pregnancy to be over."

"There's what, a month left?"

She nodded, "If all goes accordingly, yes. I still don't know what to name her."

I looked at her, puzzled. "How do you know it's a girl?" I looked behind her to see another chair in the corner. I walked to it and carried it over. Right across from Historia.

"Gut feeling." She responded as I sat. "I know there's no way to tell until she's here, but I can feel it."

I hummed, and she spoke again. "Would it be totally lame to name her Ymir? I want to honor the woman I love. But people will probably just take it as her being named after the founder."

"Maybe, but it doesn't matter how other people will take it. She's your daughter, name her what feels right." Historia was never the same after Ymir's death. She had her moments of joy and laughter, yes, but for the most part she was quiet. And now that she's having a child she doesn't want with a man she doesn't love, she's completely isolated. "If I had a say, I'd go with Emmeline." I winked, obviously kidding.

I got a laugh out of her, and a kick in the leg. "I'll add it to the list."

Eventually, we went inside and made tea. We sat on her soft green couch and talked about everything imaginable. We ate cookies she made the day before and told each other about the new books we've read. This is how it is with Historia. No matter what terrible things are going on, she manages to bring light. She is my best friend, and I love her.

I don't know how long I stayed, we don't look at the time whenever I come to visit. But eventually I made it back to the barracks and ate dinner with my friends. I went to bed that night longing for more good days.

☆

The next day was just as calm as the last. Calm meaning no death or destruction, that is. Every day is still filled with stress, discomfort, and anxiety. There is always work to be done. Whether it be a meeting to plan out our next moves or the building of some new technology. We had a railroad, port, and airships thanks to the Marleyans staying here. Things were looking up for Paradis' chance of survival. We have the resources to fight this war. Seven years ago, we thought the Colossal Titan was the biggest threat to humanity. I would do anything for that to be the truth.