My Life Is Your Undoing |WMMAP|

1. This Is Too Different!

"What will it take for you to love me? Should I become like Jennette? If I do, then will you call my name dearly as you do hers?"

Plop.

The rattle falls from my hand, clttering onto the ground.

Wait, what? Why did I suddenly remember the contents of that book?

Memories and thoughts impossible for a baby run through my mind in the span of one second, and my past life whizzes by in a blur. My mental age receives a boost and my cognitive ability sharpens until I'm thinking like an adult and not the infant that I am.

I've been reincarnated. That thing actually exists?! The only part of my past life that I can remember with certainty is the novel I read, titled "The Lovely Princess". In it, the princess with the same name as me got executed... at the hands of her own father, no less!

"Gah?" I babble, frightened by the prospect.

But the more I dwell on it... The more unsettled I get.

The princess who died was called Athanasia de Alger Obelia, and what do you know, that's my name!

She was an abandoned and neglected princess, and what do you know, that's the situation I'm in!

She would die when she was eighteen, accused of poisoning the protagonist, Jennette, and what do you know, this hasn't happened yet and hopefully never will!

Dear heavens, have I really been reborn as that accursed princess?

No, I should confirm other key information first – like whether the name of my father in this world aligns with that of Athanasia's father in the book world and whether the protagonist, Jennette Margarita, exists in this world – before making a judgment.

"My darling Athy, is something bothering you?" an angelic voice sing-songs soothingly.

Oh my, who's that? Her voice is simply celestial!

I crane my neck to look at her, but my undeveloped muscles refuse to cooperate, though soon a curtain of blonde hair comes into my vision. It's golden like the rays of sunshine, and the gaze the woman is sending me is tinged with their warmth. Her magenta eyes smile at me as she gently picks me up, rocking me.

That feels really good! But who is she?

"There, there, my darling Athy, mommy's here now," she coos.

My head nods along to her voice, until –

DID SHE JUST SAY SHE'S MY MOTHER?!

I thrash wildly in her hands.

"What's wrong, Athy? Are you hungry? Oh, you dropped your rattle."

The woman leans down, helping me to pick up the rattle. "I'll just wash it and return it to you later, alright, Sweetheart?" She presses a kiss to my temple.

Noooo the rattle isn't the problem here, you are! I want to yell, but I soon force myself to calm down.

Because of her words, a small glow of hope has been ignited in me.

In the novel, Athanasia's mother was described to have died in childbirth. Following that logic, if my mother in this world is really alive, then we can't be the same Athanasia, right? And that means I won't die at the tender age of eighteen, right?

Right?

I nestle against her happily, tired from all this intense thinking. I am a baby, after all.

Ah, let's just go to sleep first...

☆゜·。。·゜゜·。。·゜★

I wake up to murmuring voices.

"... is really just too cruel. I wonder what came over him. To banish you and Her Highness to the Ruby Palace, and now cut off nearly all funding... I shouldn't be harboring such vile thoughts towards him, but I can't help it."

I recognize that voice. Lilian York, or Lily as I refer to her. She's my dearest nanny who has been with me since forever.

Well, "since forever" isn't that long when you've only been alive for less than a year.

Then I hear another voice reply to her – the voice that belongs to my (self-proclaimed) mother.

"Don't resent him too much, Lily. He must have his reasons for that."

"Your heart is too kind, my lady. I'm just worried for the princess's and your future."

"I know Claude. He'll come around eventually; he always does."

My mother has no idea what sort of bombshell she has just dropped on me.

Claude.

She just said Claude.

Oh god.

I think I'm the same Athanasia as the one in the novel... except, except – why is my mother alive? Can it be a huge coincidence after all?

I mull it over.

Yeah, very unlikely.

Wait, if I'm the novel Athanasia, then that means that the angelic woman, aka my mother, is –

"And you are too formal. I keep telling you to call me Diana."

It's a miracle I haven't fainted.

Diana.

I've been reborn as the miserable Athanasia from the novel, with everything unchanged apart from one very, very major detail – Diana, my mother, is alive.

But it's strange how close she seems to my psycho father. In the novel, he always referred to her as "that wench", and forgot about her after her death. So why is she speaking of him with so much love in her voice?

I chew on my ruff angrily.

Don't tell me my mother loves my dirtbag of a father! Bleugh! I hate him already!

"It looks like our little angel is awake," Lily says, appearing in my vision. "You must be hungry if you're eating fabric." She tugs the ruff away from my lips.

"Come to Mama," Diana says, holding out her hands. Lily passes me to her and I'm soon sucking on a bottle of milk.

Being a baby is tedious. I feel tired and hungry and prone to crying all the damn time! Though right now, sandwiched between Lily and Diana, I cling to their warmth like a second blanket, their presence filling my heart to the brim until it feels like it can sprout wings and fly.

In my first life, I was an orphan. My mother died and my father left me, and my life was full of only dismal things. In the end, I gave in to despair and overdosed on sleeping pills.

But in this life, things are different.

I have a mother whom I can tell cares for me deeply, and the best nanny in the world I could ever ask for.

Yes, this life of mine will be different. I will live a life of happiness and fulfillment, and do all those things I couldn't back when I was a young adult meandering through my tragic life on Earth!

To do that, I need to grow up healthy and strong. And while I'm at it, I should also ensure that my mother and Lily get the best possible lives. They are none the wiser to their bleak futures, after all – Lily would get executed alongside me when I turn eighteen, and Diana... Well, she wasn't even supposed to be alive in the first place.

My heart hardens with resolution.

If my destiny is a painful death, then I will defy it. If fate wants to make me walk the plank, then I just have to carve my own flower path, where the destination is bliss and prosperity.

Yes, that is the ideal life I shall slowly trudge towards!

A/N:

Please vote and comment! ♡