Five Miles to Paradise

13

This mantra had become a kind of prayer for Zinnia, over the last weeks, and she repeated it morning and night, whenever she felt a rising panic inside her that threatened to paralyze her, overtake her, and leave her helpless.

She would never again give herself to somebody like Robbie. Nobody would treat her like Robbie had. She would run away. 

She would not stay like before, hoping that through her sheer will she could change an unfeeling monster into a good man. She would act, even if it killed her, but she would never stand still and let another man treat her that way.

She had sworn an oath to herself. Nobody would use her like that ever again. She would take the lessons she'd learned to keep herself safe from his kind.

Robbie was in her past. Dead. The affair was over. Thank goodness.

Zinnia had imagined killing him but was in mortal fear of criminal prosecution. On top of all she'd experienced, suffering imprisonment seemed like very cruel and unusual punishment.

Especially, since she was an innocent victim.

Innocent.

That word didn't mean much.

Zinnia was sure that if she carried out her plans and actually did away with Robbie, the police would hound her until they caught her. A trial would bring up Zinnia's old life, she knew. She would be painted as a scarlet woman, a slut who had sold her body to any taker on the street.

It would not matter that she'd only done those things to buy food to eat and to pay the rent. No one would ever believe her story. No one.

Robbie had made her do those things. He would beat her or worse. Robbie liked to see fear well up in Zinnia's eyes. He laughed when she turned pale and cried for mercy.

He pushed her out the door each night, taking her earnings the next morning and pocketing them. He would use her as a punching bag if she didn't bring home money.

Zinnia had never wanted to do any of those things. She had been taught better, but Robbie could not find work. The rent was due. They had to eat, so Robbie gave her no choice. He warned her that if she did not do as he wishes, he would kill her. It was as simple as that.

And the saddest part of all was the fact that deep down Zinnia loved Robbie. She had given her heart and soul to him, and Robbie cared no more for her than he would a total stranger. His heart was as cold as a creek stone.

That had been a hard, cruel lesson for Zinnia to learn. Because she was able to feel the emotions of a real human, she'd been consumed with guilt and sadness about selling her body, riddled with fear at what she did, but she swallowed these feelings and pushed away her pride into some dusty, little cubby hole in the back of her mind, and sold herself because she loved Robbie and had wanted some kind of life with him.

Robbie had charmed her, used her, cheated on her, taken all her money, and in the end, decided he would discard her like yesterday's trash. He never blinked an eyelash when he pointed the pistol at her chest.

That had been the last straw. He had threatened her and beaten her, but he had never pointed a gun at her until that night. In that instant, Zinnia realized Robbie would probably end up killing her if she stayed with him.

And in Robbie's mind, everything was Zinnia's fault. Robbie's crazy arguments somehow heaped all the blame for everything that had ever gone wrong on Zinnia.

"I'm this close to a great career. This close," he told her, shoving his fingers inches from her face. "This close to seeing my name in lights, Zin, and you have to be a goddamn shrew and screw me out of my chance. I'll kill you for this, you whore. Haven't I been good to you? Why do you think I wasted all my time on you, you dried-up, frigid whore?

I've told you a thousand times, it takes money to get me where I'm going! The whole world is against me! Can't you see that! Everybody throws one stumbling block after another in my path!

And you are the worst!

I won't take it any more! I won't be stopped by someone like you, bitch! It's happened before, and I took care of the problem. I made it go away. I'll make you go away, too!

And don't think for one minute, I won't get away with it."

His eyes lit with a particular cruel coldness that Zinnia had not seen before.

"I know how to cover my tracks."

She heard the shot and moved faster than she thought possible. Adrenalin pulsed through her. How she had managed to dive sideways and swing the heavy lamp at his head with break-neck force, she had never known.

But the gods of good luck had been on Zinnia's side, and Robbie had been knocked off balance by the blow, banged his head hard on the corner of the counter, and hit the floor like a lead weight.

A policeman patrolling the block entered the apartment a few seconds later. The bullet was embedded in the wall behind Zinnia. It had missed her by inches. The gun was still in Robbie's hand. There was a puddle of bright red blood flowing from the side of his head.

But he was still breathing, still groaning, and mumbling horrible things about her and how she was to blame for all his troubles. Robbie was rushed to the hospital and his head bandaged. He was arrested and put in the local jail.

Further investigation into Robert, Robin, Rob, Bob, Robbie Doyer, Dayer, Derr, Diers proved that he had a history of aliases and a trail of warrants in five states. Mr. Doyer, as he had been most recently calling himself, also had spent a lifetime lying, deceiving, and manipulating women. From what the police had been able to dig up, Robbie had been married at least eight times, never failing to divorce any of his former wives.

That was bad enough, but Zinnia was to learn that Robbie was a prime suspect in the disappearance of a girl from Arkansas twelve years ago. The police there believed he was instrumental in the young woman's disappearance, but they had been unable to produce enough evidence to arrest Robbie. 

They had also never found the young woman's body. Then, Robbie rabbited, and he had managed to move about the country so often, that the police had had a hard time keeping track of his whereabouts.