Chapter 71

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I wake up in a sweat and shaking

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I wake up in a sweat and shaking. "What's wrong?" Alex asks sitting up suddenly and shifting closer to me. I shakily run a hand through my hair, taking deep breaths "a nightmare." I say between my pants "It was just a nightmare. I'm fine." I climb out of bed and go straight into the bathroom. I lean over the sink, tears spilling from my eyes. I let myself have a few minutes before wiping my eyes, changing into my workout gear, and heading out to the bedroom again.

"Going for a run?" Alex asks gently and I nod "I'll be back in about an hour." I leave the house and run down the street. I try and push all of my negative feelings out and into the sidewalk that my feet are slapping against.

I run until I can't anymore and the acidic pain lets me know I pushed myself too far. I stand, leaning against a wall and panting so hard it feels as though my lungs might give out when a car pulls up and I hear a window roll down. "Doctor Tearney?" I hear and I look up. One of the new interns sits inside the car, a brunette looking at me with a concerned face. "Hey." I say between panting breaths "Are you ok?" She asks, her frown deepening.

I nod waving her off "I'm fine, I just need a minute." I hear the engine turn off and a door open and close. Then the intern comes rushing over, a hand on my arm "Are you sure you're ok? You don't look well." I push her away and step back. "I said I'm fine, seriously." She doesn't believe me as she narrows her eyes. "Look, let me just take you to the hospital, I've got to go there anyway and I'm sure you're on shift as well anyway." I sigh, hanging my head. "Fine." I cave in before climbing inside her car.

The intern turns the car on and pulls away from the curb "Just take me to my place, I live on the way." I say before giving her my address. The car ride is awkward and silent, the intern hums under her breath and I just stare out of the window.

When we finally reach my place, Alex is waiting on the doorstep looking anxious. His head snaps up and he launches off the step "Andy, there you are!" He says as I climb out and he envelopes me. "You had me worried." He says, I frown and pull away "What do you mean worried? I was only gone for an hour." Alex's eyes spark with concern as he has a hand on each of my arms "You've been gone for almost 6." This catches me off guard, I could have sworn I was only out for an hour.

I refuse to let the confusion and shock show on my face. So I just shrug and reply "I guess I lost track of time." I try to ignore the look Alex gives the girl still sitting in the car behind me. He gives her a subtle nod before herding me inside. Once inside, I sit down on the couch and Alex makes me a cup of tea.

"You working today?" He asks me as he takes a seat beside me. I nod my head, clutching my mug tightly in my hands "Yeah, I want to go see Willow before my shift starts though." I answer. Alex rubs my back comfortingly "ok baby, we can do that."

-


"Good morning Dr Bailey." Richard Webber says as both he and I enter the lounge. "I cannot get used to having them in the attendings' lounge." She says gesturing to the old interns who just left the room. Richard goes over to pour himself some coffee and says "Well, I'm still getting used to having you in here." Bailey pulls a funny look before bringing her mug up her lips.

I smile, settling into a seat opposite her before she rounds on me "Three days until your big day." Bailey muses, a smirk settling on her lips. "I know, it hardly feels like it." Bailey chuckles and shakes her head before standing up.

"It won't feel like your big day until you are staring at the man at the other end of the aisle." She says. Bailey pats my shoulder before leaving. Richard takes a sip of his coffee cup "Bailey makes it sound so scary. It's the best day of your life, enjoy it. You only get one."

I know in most cases that's true. That it's true for Alex and I, only having one wedding because I can't imagine living with anyone else. Our wedding is going to be perfect, well mostly. Mark and Lexie won't be there, neither will my dad.

A headache suddenly decides to travel across my head at an aggressive speed, making me wince. "You ok Andy?" Richard asks and I nod my head. I get up and head over to the lockers, going inside and taking a couple of pills "Yeah just a headache. Should be fine now." Richard gives me a concerned look before shrugging and heading for the door. "See you out there." He says before disappearing.


-

I go and see our daughter, she still has several tubes hooked up to her and it makes me feel sick every time I see them. "Hey, little one." I say gently, sticking my hands into the plastic box "Doctor James says you are doing better, you can be out in a couple of days." She latches onto my finger and squeezes as tightly as she can "You are so strong, just like your grandfather." I use my other hand to stroke Willow's face gently and she wriggles around.

I don't stay here instead I head down to the OR board to see what I am doing today. Bailey and Richard are already there. The woman writes something down on the board before stepping back and saying "Kepner is doing an umbilical hernia her first week back." She has disbelief lacing her voice and to be honest I can't believe it either. She is really diving right back into work, with no hesitation at all. Bailey scoffs but Richard only gives her a disregarded sound, she looks up at her mentor and argues "She failed her boards. She was fired, twice. The closest thing that girl has been to an OR in months is what, the Moline large animal vet? Her head is not in the game. She has other things on her mind, things I don't even want to think about."

Bailey scrunches up her nose when she says the last part making me instantly curious about what she knows. "So.. what, you're gonna pull her off the surgery? Do it yourself" Webber asks both of us standing confused at what Bailey hoped to achieve by saying this to us. However, we are greeted with Bailey's signature look of disgust "Don't be ridiculous." She answers "I'm getting her a babysitter."

As she leaves I follow after her "I wouldn't be too harsh on Kepner." I say as we make our way to the elevators "I didn't pass my boards the first time either." Bailey looks up at me, tilting her head in a way that expresses entitlement "Did you get fired? Twice?" She asks and I shake my head, scratching the back of my neck "No but..." Bailey cuts me off "No buts, April Kepner needs to prove she can be trusted." She steps into the elevator and I do not follow her.

-

When we are home I curl up next to Alex on the sofa, pulling at strands of my hair. Alex pulls my hands into his and kisses them both gently. "Are you ready to be my wife in three days?" He asks and a smile breaks out across my face, butterflies filling my stomach "it still doesn't feel real." I say. We lie down, he wraps his arms around me and I take in his sweet cinnamon scent from the cookies we baked earlier. "It'll be real." Alex replies kissing the top of my head "it'll be real when you see me at the end of the isle. It'll be real when we have our first dance. It will be real when we climb into bed that night and it will be real 40 years from now."

I clutch him tightly, eyes trained on the tv screen "Till death do us part." I mumble snuggling further into him.

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