𝐬𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐡 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐧 | 𝐣𝐚 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐭.

𝟏𝟑.

"You ready to do yo makeup?" Raylan asked me "The makeup artist you wanted just got here."

"Yeah I am."

Given that I always choose for a natural look, getting my makeup done didn't take long. The makeup artist was wonderful, but I already knew that as I frequently interacted with her on Instagram plus she had previously done my makeup.

"Semaijah you're going out there in five more minutes!" Raylan yelled and I stood there in the corner staring at all the people that were out there "You good?"

"I don't know. I'm nervous."

I took a fast breath and reached for my chest before returning to the raised chair and sitting down. I was sure that everyone could hear my heartbeat since it was so loud that I could.

"Semaijah calm down." Raylan's voice could be heard. My muscles tensed even more as a shockwave of electric anguish ran up and down my body as I felt someone touch me.

"Aye get her some water for me please! Semaijah, You gon get through this. Concentrate on your breathing. Stay in the present. It's not them people out there that's bothering you, It's the thought."

What's the matter with me? My body is out of control. I am insane. I'm not feeling my body. Why am I shaky? I'll pass away in this manner.

"Breathe in and count to 5 then you gon let it out. Repeat that until you feel better."

I continued to do as he said, and the more I did it, the worse it ached. When it eventually stopped hurting, I tried it again, but this time I began violently coughing.

I continued to cough as Raylan patted me on the back, but gradually I stopped. The same muscles that had been tensed up began to relax.

"Yo heart still beating fast?" Raylan asked me and I nodded slowly "Close your eyes. Try and focus on yourself, Don't think about shit else."

Raylan took hold of my right hand, positioned his thumb in the middle of my left palm, and then began to press down on it. But not too hard.

"Remember when you was little and you would swallow Pennie's calling yoself the piggy bank? and that time yo daddy whooped you and Ahmahdi's ass because y'all was making different perfumes with his colognes?" Raylan asked.

I felt myself calming down as he continued to tell me many more short stories from when Ahmahdi and I were little.

"Here's your water." He gave me a water bottle and I opened it up and started drinking it "I'm proud of you. Good Job. You alive, Everything good now."

"I really appreciate you Lan." I coughed out.

"Yeah I know, Keep that coughing shit to a distance though." He moved away from me and I chuckled. After I finished drinking my water I just sat there quietly gathering my thoughts.

"I'm ready to go out there now."

"Good, They all out there waiting to see you and that Tussy nigga." Raylan kissed my forehead.

"It's Toosii."

"Toosii, Tussy, Same thing."

"It's not."