Teen Drama

Chapter 32

"Earth to Kayla!" Elisa taps me on the temple with her pen and makes me jump out of my daydream with a start.

"What?" I was miles away, lost in brain fog and a million stupid thoughts about last night.

"You were so close to drooling with a wide mouth and vacant expression that it was frightening. I thought the body snatchers had gotten you." Elisa smiles, jesting, and turns back to face forward, pulling her notebook closer and carrying on. Her red hair sweeping down to half conceal her face again, and I often wonder how that does not annoy her. Writing through her hair on her splayed notebook. "We're copying from the projector, by the way... in case you have no idea what we are doing!" She points out, raising her pen to gesture in front of us, and I blink ahead, seeing an entirely new slide of notes our lab tech has put up for us. We're in Biology, normally one of my favorite classes, and I have spent most of it zoned out. If I am being honest, this is how my entire day has gone, and this is the last class. I have taken in nothing today.

Impulsively I turn in my seat and glance back to the rear where Dane and Tyler sit, still antsy about our lack of conversation all day and catch Dane staring at me. It startles me, but it also feels kind of good to catch him watching me with a strange expression, as though he was lost in his thoughts. It seems to snap him out of his daze, and he frowns and looks away quickly as though I didn't just see him transfixed, acting like it was nothing. I am guessing he, too, is processing this. My stomach sinks though, that his only acknowledgment was a frown my way, and I turn away again with my own furrowed brow.

We have barely seen one another since I missed him this morning before school. He was already gone when I got up, so unlike him, and hasn't ventured near me all day. Even in shared classes, he's kept his distance and is acting strangely aloof, which is probably why I can't focus and am anxious as hell. No sign of either of that duo at lunch or break, and all our shared classes today are where he sits far away. I am getting a clear message that he does not want to see me.

It feels different, though. Not like his nasty closing me down and pushing me away kind of behavior, as in passing, he locks eyes on me, gives me a subtle smile, and then carries on. So not directly avoiding me, just taking some space to figure things out. I shouldn't be annoyed by it, but I am. He is just being his annoyingly cool and unemotional asshole self.

I don't know why I ever gave him the benefit of the doubt.

It's like my feelings on this subject at hand are excess to requirement, and I hate that my life is about waiting on Dane once again. This is not who I am. Becoming this sad, cling-on girl who is fixated on some boy, and everything else is falling to shit.

I feel like the ball is in his court, and he has all the power in this situation. I am just some pathetic weak mess who gets no say and can't even be angry that he's avoiding me today. I should tell him to go screw it and be done with this.

That's what Kayla of old would do. Stick her nose up at him, throw him shade, storm off, and blank him instead.

I really hate how much this stupid heart has made me such a loser where he is concerned.

"You're doing it again. Zoning out." Leisa brings me back with another jolt, and I sigh in defeat.

"I can't concentrate or focus. My head's a mess. I should have stayed home or skipped and gone to the shelter to do something physical." I moan in petulance. Hating that today has ticked by so slowly. " I can't believe how much this is affecting me."

I am disappointed in myself. I always swore I would never be one of those girls who pined over a boy and let their entire life center around one, yet here I am.