His Little Secretary |✎|

Miserable |15|

The past few days have been miserable.

I told Duke he shouldn't come over, that the medicine he bought me was enough, I just didn't want him to get whatever I have, i'd hate myself if I got him sick.

I tried calling Mama to see if she had any solutions to aiding this cold or virus or whatever, but she didn't answer the phone.

It makes me sad that she won't answer my calls anymore, I know she has nothing against me, she's never said a rude thing to me my entire life, never criticized what I was wearing, how I spoke, my interests, not like Father would.

"I've gotta get going, but I made you some soup and put it on the counter if your feeling up to eating something." Lia tells me, staying a few feet away from me who's sitting in bed.

I smile, "Thank you Lia, be safe." I say, my voice scratchy from coughing.

She gives me a sympathetic smile and hesitatingly walks out.

I huff, tears springing to my eyes, im not sure why i'm being so emotional, just with Momma not talking to me anymore and me being miserably sick, I just feel so overwhelmed.

My throat aches and I let out a sob, wiping my tears with my wrists, I grab the Advil on my nightstand and gulp some water.

The medicine Duke gave me really has helped, but ever since I was little I was always sick for long periods of time when I got a cold or the flu.

My Father was always frustrated with that, frustrated that I wasn't in school learning 'valuable information' for my future, and instead just sitting in bed.

I never understood why he was like that, maybe it was always my fault for getting sick, just like it's my fault now, I should've worn a better coat, or taken a taxi to work.

Tears run down my cheeks, my eyes feeling puffy.

I haven't been eating a lot, i'm not sure why, food just doesn't appetizing to me right now.

I miss Duke, I miss him kissing the top of my head and telling me I did an amazing job with setting up the meeting room.

I've never liked working, i've always found it more enjoyable when working was something easy, like working at that bookstore when I was 16, that was easy, and I always felt at home, it didn't feel like a chore to be there.

I like working at that big building, it's scary to look up at everyday but, the thought of being on the 24th floor no longer fills me with dread, but rather a fuzzy feeling, because I see him everyday.

I sigh, my tears drying and a calm feeling taking over, my body still having a slight shake to it.

Clutching onto Fuzzy, I lay down, sniffling and closing my eyes, sleeping is the only easy thing i've been able to do lately.

I pour water into the little plant on Darlene's desk, I looked it up online and apparently i'm not supposed to do this everyday, but instead just a few times a week.

Darlene told me not to come over, worried i'd get sick myself. I've always had a strong immune system, I told her she has nothing to worry about but she insisted.

Fathers been up my ass lately, pressuring me more than usual for whatever reason.

With Darlene not here, my days are more stressful than ever, i'd rid her of her cold in a  heartbeat if I could.

I can easily get someone else to take care of the things she always does, but it's not the same, without her here it's like my office is filled with the empty silence it had before she arrived.

It's like i'm filled with that empty silence.

I groan, taking a quick swig of whiskey, glancing at the time, 9am.

Jesus christ, what's wrong with me?

A buzz vibrates in my pocket, I swiftly slide my phone out of my pocket to see a call from my Father. I stare at the caller ID for a second, before ignoring the call and downing the rest of my drink.

I walk over to Darlene's desk, sighing,
my eyebrows furrowed.

I sit in her desk chair, grabbing a hair tie she left and fiddling with it, turning it in all sorts of ways, squares, etc.

Frustration and exhaustion racks through my body, I just wanna see her.

— AUTHORS NOTE; REALLY SHORT CHAPTER, SPICY THINGS COMING AND A MUCH MORE HEALTHY DARLENE 🫶🏻 LOVE YOU GUYS, HOPE YOUR TAKING CARE OF YOURSELVES!!

IVE BEEN TAKING MEDICATION FOR MY EAR AND ITS GETTING SO MUCH BETTER 💪🏻 IM JUS HIM FR YALL 🙁🫢🫢

(UNEDITED CHAPTER) |FEBRUARY 24th, 2023|