Beneath Shadows and Secrets

♔ 𝕿𝔥𝔦𝔯𝔱𝔶 ♔

♔ 𝔑𝔦𝔯𝔞 ♔

In the security of the wing, I wash myself clean. Rid of all that taints me of my father's plan, and my success in ruining it.

The silence aids my thought, allows me to dwell on all that has occurred. That my family is hardly that. They are not to be trusted – Darin too, for as long as he is split between our father and me, his loyalty must always be questioned. At least my father I can determine to be my enemy. A separate one, to those that wronged me in Vrodora, but a male that will feel my fury, nonetheless. More so if he attempts to take Vrodora. The ruins of that Realm are mine, and I will kill him before I let him steal me of that victory. I will kill him if his actions impose a threat to the very few people that I care for that live there.

There is a question of who that even consist of. Sloan is gone – all I can protect of her now is the memories that live within me. Cenred. I will do anything to see that he lives. Would I extend the same courtesy to Ezekiel? He has betrayed me, several times now, because of his fealty to Zaire. He was my friend. Is he now? Or is he another Darin, who might fail to stand beside me because of his ties with the Lord of Abutilon? I do not want to see him die, but I do not know that I would risk myself to protect him.

Then, the Night Court. It does not matter how much I fight the sentimentality, there is no denying that they have, all of them, come to mean something to me. It is difficult to distinguish what they mean, but I have decided that if I were to see any of them come to harm, it would ache me. No longer, despite my threats, do I wish them harm. Not after the hospitality each of them have shown me. Libitina, offering me closure in relation to Sloan. Calix, in housing me and feeding me and seeing that I could say goodbye to my friend. Ryke. He has become a friend, despite my every attempt to maintain a distance. I appreciate his company. Trust him, as Calix does. Even Tynan – though he irks me incomparably, if he were not here to do so, I would miss his jibes and jokes.

I hadn't meant to come to care for them. Hadn't meant to concern myself with if they live or die. It levels me with a sense of responsibility. A conscience. More so when they persistently position themselves between me and danger.

Having dressed, I take myself into the common area, steps faltering when I notice Calix relaxed on the sofa. He's alone, waiting for me it seems, because his eyes immediately fall upon me. He says nothing, and so I see no need in fracturing the silence either. I sit opposite him, sights cast to the window as I watch the horizon with unnecessary vigilance.

My fingers tug through my wet hair, snagging on knots as I comb it through. It is a fidgety movement, so that I can occupy myself with something as Calix studies me. That, which he does for a significant length of time, until it irritates me so much that my skin begins to bristle under the scrutiny.

"Is there something you want?" I sigh heavily, turning to him. My hands still fiddle with my hair as I meet his stare. "I would usually have the energy to embark on some kind of verbal battle with you, but not today, not now. I am tired."

He nods with understanding, reclining further into his seat, spreading his knees and unfurling his arms along the back of the sofa. I watch him, impassive, despite my curiosity at his newfound ease.

In fact, he looks so unlike himself. His hair isn't neat, but tousled, as though he has dragged his hands through it too many times. He's wearing only a shirt – no dress coat in sight - and the collar is undone, sleeves bunched at his elbows. His pants strain over his flexed thighs.

"I know. I have only come to see how you are. To ask." I raise a brow at that.

"That sort of behaviour goes against the grain of your character." His lips quirk but he says nothing, waiting for me to divulge some sort of answer. Instead, I return the conversation with a question of my own. "Is it wrong, that I am glad I did what I did, today? Is it wrong that I do not feel any guilt for killing those Guards?"