Red VS Blue: Agent New Mexico

31: Room for Rent

Tex: Yeah right! You think I'm gonna leave you alone out here with your body?

Church: (mumbling) Bitch...

Tex: Nice try, Leonard.

Church: Hey, Caboose!

Caboose: (stands up and turns around) Huh?

Church: Heads up!

Church runs into Caboose to possess him. Tex leaves Lopez and does the same.

O'Malley: Noooo...!

Zooms in on Caboose's visor and flashes to white. Fades in to reveal a large, gray room with walkways and large pylons coming out of the ground. Cut to Church in white armor and Tex in black armor, both are no longer transparent.

Church: Where are we?

Tex: We're inside Caboose's mind. Now we just have to find O'Malley and kill him.

Church: Man, this is kinda weird.

Tex: It's hard to get used to, I know.

Church: No, it's not that. (fades to the outside of Caboose's mind) It's just that this place is a whole lot bigger than I thought it was gonna be.

Tucker: (walks up to Caboose) Caboose, are you okay, buddy?

Caboose: (repeating what Church said) This place is a lot bigger than I thought it would be.

Arroyo: That's disturbing. Tucker go get Sheila and Lopez, We don't have much time to do this.

Tucker: Alright, I hope whatever your idea is will work.

Tucker leaves to get Shelia and Lopez.

Caboose: Where should we start, Tex?

Arroyo: What?

Fades back to inside Caboose's head.

Church: I said where should we start, Tex?

Tex: Just keep your eyes peeled. (Tucker and Arroyo come up behind Tex) I guarantee (Church spots Tucker and Arroyo) O'Malley will come looking for us.

Church: Hey, Tucker! Arroyo! Is that you?

(Mental) Tucker: No. What're you? Stupid? Oh, wait. Yes, I am me. I guess I'm stupid.

(Mental) Arroyo: Hi guys, what going on?

Church: What're you guys doing in here? You're supposed to be out there working on your part of the plan!

(Mental) Tucker: Do you have any food? I love to eat all the food.

(Mental) Arroyo: What plan? Oh is it about my super secret past that I don't tell anyone about since I can't remember?

Church: What the hell? What's the matter with you the two of you?

Tex: They aren't really Arroyo or Tucker. We're in Caboose's head. This is Caboose's mental image of Arroyo and Tucker.

(Mental) Tucker: Man, I am so unbelievably stupid!

(Mental) Arroyo: I cast spells in a strange language that no one can understand!

Church: Well, that's great, everyone we meet in here is bound to be as brain-dead as Caboose, then.

Caboose approaches from behind.

Caboose: I would not be so sure about that, Mister Church.

Cut to the Reds.

Grif: Great idea, sir. I finally agree with you.

Donut: (walks up to Sarge and Grif) Hey, guys. We might have a problem here. Somebody, and I'm not gonna say who, might've thought that one of the cyborg parts we need for Simmons' surgery was a cupholder. And somebody, not naming any names here, might've left it, along with their favorite smooth jazz compilation CD, in the Warthog. I just don't know who would do such a thing.

Grif: Was it you?

Donut: Yeah.. uh, no! (clears throat) I mean, NO. ...Dammit.

Sarge: Grif, you and Easy Listening stroll on down and retrieve that part from the Warthog. Post Haste!

Grif: Sir, do you think it's safe to be outside the base right now? For all we know the Blues could've already fixed their tank. They could be advancing on us as we speak.

Sarge: Ahh, corny dogs! Even with Lopez helping 'em, it'll take them months to get that tank online, much less to get it movin' again.

Donut: I hope you're right, because if I see that tank headed towards me, I'm totally gonna freak out.

The camera zooms across the canyon to Arroyo, Tucker, Sheila, and Lopez.

Tucker: Man, I sure hope they don't totally freak out when they see us coming.

Arroyo: If they do we can just shoot them with the tank.

Tucker: Good point.