State Of Grace

Chapter 24 - Nothing New

"But even with all the good stuff, it's like I can't let myself fully enjoy it. I guess I feel like a burden sometimes, actually, a lot of the time. They've bought me all this new stuff, spent all this money on me. Hospital bills, legal bills, school books, new shoes. I am grateful, but it's not necessary. I got by just fine before."

"It's just their way of showing you that you're a part of their family," Sarah said, and some other kids agreed with her, "And, you didn't get by. You were falling behind in school, you were getting more and more depressed. But you've come so far since you moved in with the Tuckers. Gracie, they saved your life."

"Your friend is right," a new boy spoke up, "I get that it can be hard to be grateful when you don't feel like you deserve good things, but you do," it was his first time in group therapy, "I think we all do."

"Well said, Jasper," Dr. Ellis said.

The boy smiled at Gracie, and she smiled back, "Yeah, I guess that makes sense, thank you." Sarah was her only real friend in group therapy, maybe now she had another ally.

"The main thing to remember is that you have people, and no matter what, they'll be there for you," Jasper said.

"Exactly," Dr. Ellis smiled at Gracie and turned back to the new boy, "Jasper, while you have the floor, would you like to share?"

"Uh, sure," Jasper sat up straight and cleared his throat. Gracie listened intently to his story; he spent time in the foster system too, but now he was moving back in with his dad, "I know I should be happy to be going home, so many kids would kill to be in my position. Dad's been in anger management therapy and he says he's a lot better, but after what happened I'm just not sure if I can trust him. But I don't know what's worse, being in the system or being at home."

"Have you told your social worker how you feel?" Gracie asked, "I mean, I never used to trust my social worker, but once I opened up to her a little bit, she was able to figure out what was best for me, and that's how I ended up where I am today."

"I guess I could try."

"Our social workers are there to advocate for us, but how can they do that if don't tell them what we need?" She was astounded by how mature she sounded, "It's like you said, we deserve good things."

Jasper looked sad, and when a single tear fell from his eye and he reached to wipe it away, Gracie noticed the bruises on his wrist. Even from across the room, she could tell they were marks made by angry hands.

"Right, thanks," Jasper folded his arms and hung his head.

Gracie had been a victim of abuse since she was eight years old, she could tell from a mile away that Jasper had been hurt by people who were supposed to protect him, but whether it was his father or his foster parents, she didn't know.

"How was group therapy?" Lilah asked as Gracie walked into the kitchen after getting back from dinner at Sarah's house. She and her wife were sitting at the kitchen table.

"It was good," Gracie grabbed a banana from the fruit bowl and sat down at the table, "I feel like I'm getting a lot more out of it now that I've started to open up a little bit. Speaking of which, can I talk to you guys about something?"

"Sure thing, love," Stella closed the book she was reading and gave her full attention to Gracie, "Go ahead."

"So," Gracie took a breath, but she wasn't nervous about what she was going to say, it was finally the right time, "I'm sure you both know, after everything that happened with Jason at that dinner. But I wanted to tell you for real. So, here I go. I'm gay," Gracie smiled.

She could barely remember a time when she was ashamed of who she was, and she was so glad that all of the abuse she'd endured from Amber hadn't made her want to stay in the closet forever.