State Of Grace

Chapter 22 - Question...?

The girls settled into their usual seats in the circle, Gracie was nowhere near as nervous as she used to get for group therapy, and she attributed that to Rachel; the girl who made her feel invincible. She had brought Gracie out of her shell and knocked down the walls she'd built to protect herself from getting hurt.

"Who wants to start us off today?" Dr. Ellis looked around the room, the other kids shifted awkwardly in their seats.

"I will," Gracie raised her hand. She'd been absent from group therapy for a while, and Stella and Lilah had suggested that she share something with the group this week if she felt up to it. She'd never felt more comfortable with herself, so why not seize the opportunity to talk about her life in a safe space with people who'd gone through similar things?

"Thank you, Gracie."

"So," Gracie stood up, "I went through something kind of awful a little while ago and after that, I had more bad days than good, more downs than ups," she couldn't believe it was only a few short months ago that she was terrified to stand up and tell her secrets to a group of strangers, her life had changed drastically in many ways since then, several times. "I started to hurt myself again," as she confessed, she could feel Sarah's eyes on her, "I kept it a secret until one night, I went to a party with my foster sisters, and very stupidly, I got drunk," she laughed at herself, "I guess I was just trying to block out what was going on in my life. The next morning my foster mom found out."

Gracie thought about that morning all the time, Stella was so supportive. That was the day that she began to let her guard down with her foster family.

"She was mad about the drinking, but when she saw, you know, my arm, she was so kind and she listened to me as I tried to explain why I did it. And I guess I just realized that talking about how I'm feeling and what's going on in my head actually does help, who would have guessed?" The group laughed with Gracie. "So, I've slowly been getting better at opening up, and now I've been clean for... well I'm not sure exactly. I've stopped keeping track because otherwise, I'd just be thinking about it all the time. But, to cut a long story short, I like my foster placement, school is good, and I'm doing well. I feel good."

"That's wonderful to hear, Gracie. You've come a long way," Dr. Ellis applauded Gracie and the rest of the group followed suit.

She sat back down beside Sarah, "Sorry I didn't tell you I relapsed, but seriously, things are good now."

"Don't be sorry, I know what it's like to be in that dark place where you feel like no one understands, I'm just glad you talked to someone, even if it wasn't me," Sarah hugged her best friend.

When the session ended, Sarah and Gracie walked down the road to the beach and sat at the top of the dunes. After how supportive Sarah was in group therapy, and how much easier it had become to open up, Gracie decided it was time to come clean.

"There's something else I want to tell you, but I didn't want to announce it in front of the whole group," she smiled, "I have a girlfriend, and last night we, you know," Gracie blushed, she didn't like talking about intimate things with anyone other than Rachel, but she and Sarah had promised to tell each other when they lost their virginity.

"No way! Oh my God, Gracie! Why didn't you tell me?" Sarah was so excited for her friend.

"I'm telling you now aren't I?"

"Wait, I thought you were at Elle's last night, oh my God is it Elle? Is she your girlfriend? Oh my God, it's not Amy, is it? Please tell me it's not Amy," she couldn't contain herself, "Because I got trapped in a conversation with her at your birthday party, and oh my God that girl does not shut up!"