State Of Grace

Chapter 19 - Clean

But Gracie couldn't see the cracks that were starting to form. Her chest tightened as her heart felt the pain of never hearing Rachel's voice again, her skin stung at the thought of never feeling the touch of her soft hands. If she didn't have Rachel, she knew she'd retreat into herself and go back to the person she was before; a terrified, broken child on the brink of falling apart without the glue that was holding her together. But she also knew that losing the Tuckers could shatter her too.

"Do you understand me?" Stella squeezed Gracie's hand. "Gracie, she's violent, I trust you know that we only want the best for you."

"Yeah," Gracie shuddered, "I know. I'm sorry."

Riley and Maia came into the bedroom, "Dinner is in an hour," Stella said and left the room.

"How mad was she?" Riley sat on her bed.

"I think she was more worried than angry. I didn't realize how much she and Lilah cared," Gracie admitted, "I mean, I knew they cared otherwise they wouldn't have fostered me and taken such good care of me."

She'd always imagined that if by some miracle she was fostered by parents who had her best interest at heart, she would remain grateful and stay on her best behavior at all times, she never wanted to take advantage of having a good home life because it was all she'd ever wanted. It had taken Rachel showing up to the hospital and punching her foster sister to realize that that was exactly what she had. And now she had to figure out a way to keep both Rachel and the Tuckers in her life, without causing any pain for anyone else.

"I guess I just forgot what it felt like to have parents. And I took it for granted," she was quickly overcome with gratitude for her family and stood up, embracing both of her foster sisters in a hug. Riley and Maia shared a smile, they were so happy to see Gracie finally settling in.

Gracie woke up on Saturday morning feeling so much better, her surgical wound was healing nicely and her nausea was completely gone. She wanted the Tuckers to forget about what happened at the hospital, so she planned to be as cheerful as possible. If she could show them that she was moving on from Rachel, maybe they would too. She sat down at the breakfast table with the rest of the family.

"Lilah, when can I go back to school?" She asked, "I feel so much better, and I just want to get back into a normal routine again."

She'd been out of school for over a week now, she tried to keep up with the work at first but without her assignments from her teachers, it was pointless.

"Oh, I don't know honey, you're still recovering," Lilah shared a glance with Stella, "Let's not set anything in stone yet, okay?"

She was so grateful for what the Tuckers had done for her so far, but she knew it wouldn't last forever if they decided not to keep fostering her, she had to look out for herself if she stood a chance of finishing school, "I just don't want to fall behind even more. If I keep missing school I might not pass this semester, which means I could be held back a year," she pleaded with Lilah, "Which will make it even more difficult for me to graduate when I'm a senior."

Graduation was years away, but Gracie was in foster care, and she knew it was already going to be a challenge to get through high school. Before the Tuckers, she had never planned to make it that far in life, and now that she'd met them and made strides with her mental health, she had started planning for a future even if it meant it wouldn't be with them forever.

"Why can't the rest of you kids be this eager about school?" Stella joked as she served up scrambled eggs to her kids.

"Look, I will bring you your assignments and homework so you can stay up to date with the rest of your class, and then we'll revisit the idea of returning to school next week, okay?" Lilah insisted.