State Of Grace

Chapter 10 - The Other Side Of The Door

"It's not stupid, everything you're feeling is completely valid, love." It was clear by her voice that Stella wasn't thrilled to hear that her fifteen-year-old foster daughter had spent a drunken evening kissing a boy, but at least she wasn't judging her. "I think you were brave to end things, you're going through a lot," she said, "But this other person, do you like them?"

Gracie thought of Rachel, the morning they had spent in her room kissing, and how when their eyes met it felt like they were the only two people in the world, nothing else mattered.

"Yeah, I do. But it was all so confusing and I couldn't talk to anyone about it. I tried talking to Sarah and it caused the car accident, and right after that... the thing with John happened and suddenly my stupid love life didn't seem so important anymore," she held her tears in, she'd already cried enough for a lifetime, "But now I know I need to move forward, and this other person has helped me see who I am outside of all of the trauma."

"Why couldn't you talk to anyone about it, love?" Stella asked, curious as to what could be so shocking that it caused Sarah to take her eyes off the road.

"It's complicated, and you know me, I'm not big on opening up. But I'm working on it," Gracie said.

Stella and her wife were gay, they wouldn't have a bad reaction to finding out that Gracie may not be completely straight, but it was still a huge deal to Gracie. And it was even more confusing after the evening she'd spent with Jason.

All the talking had exhausted her and she'd felt like she divulged more information than necessary. "But thanks, for the tea and the talk, I'm gonna go take a nap."

Later that evening, Gracie and Danny were sitting in his room playing video games when Danny began to notice something wasn't quite right with Gracie. She'd always been a little quiet, but today she'd barely paid attention to the game, and now and then she would completely zone out, consumed by her thoughts.

"Hey, you're letting me win," he playfully nudged her, "Is everything okay?"

Gracie looked at him and shrugged, "Just distracted, I guess."

"Is it to do with the guy you were kissing last night?"

Her whole body cringed, "God, does everyone know about that?" Gracie blushed, and put the controller down, "Who told you?"

"Amy. Well, she told Elle and Ethan, and then Ethan told me," he grimaced, worried how Gracie would react to finding out their friends were a bunch of gossips.

"How did Amy find out? Was she there? This is a disaster," she buried her face in her hands.

"Her sister is in Maia's grade and she was there, I guess when a sophomore goes to a junior's party and makes out with a senior the word gets around especially when that sophomore is the new girl." So much for White Coast's 'positive environment'. "Gracie, none of us are judging you for it, if that's what you're worried about. It'll die down, something else will happen and everyone will be talking about that."

"It's not that. I can handle gossip," Gracie said, she took a breath and decided to talk to Danny honestly, "It's the kiss. I was sort of seeing someone. And I cut them off because I felt so bad about what I did and on top of that I didn't want to put them through all this trial stuff and I'm just such a mess I just-"

"Hey, relax," Danny said, "You can trust me, Gracie."

"The person that I was seeing wasn't a guy," Gracie chewed her bottom lip and waited patiently for a reaction, but Danny just sat there, smiling, the same friendly smile he wore on the day they met. "It was a girl, and I miss her."

"I see," he just looked at her, still smiling, "Thank you for telling me, I know it's not easy, coming out."

"But that's just it, I don't know if I am coming out," she whispered the last two words, worried the rest of the Tucker family might hear her. Now that she'd told someone about her feelings, she felt relieved, and so much closer to her foster brother. "I don't know what I am, and when I woke up this morning and remembered that I'd kissed a guy, I felt like I was cheating."