Things Aint Always Easy

Chapter 1

Info:
Karl/Karla:she/her, 13, trans fem, crush on sapnap
Sapnap:he/him, 14, cis masc, crush on minx

Warnings:cutting, cussing mention of abuse

Karla's POV:
Today's my first day of 8th grade and sap's first day of 9th grade, which means I won't see him much. Me and sap do have the same free periods though so we will hangout a bit. I get dressed in a little pink dress that's sleeveless and I also put on thigh highs that are pink with two white strips at the top. I put on a pink pair of converse and then I grab my backpack and I start heading to the bus stop. The bus comes and I get on. "Hello, Karl" the bus driver says, but I don't reply. I sit in the back seat that one person can sit in. After a few stops sap and Thomas get on, Thomas sits in the two person seat next to the one I'm in, and sap sits on the floor next to me. Why would sap not follow the bus rules just to sit next to me, I thought, unsure of the answer. "Get your fat ass off the floor" Thomas says to sap in a very harsh way. "No, I'm willing to get kicked off this bus for sitting in the floor, than let the little girl above me have more bruises" sap said back to Thomas. "Wait, what" Thomas said. "Yeah, this person above is a girl who's been abused her whole life, and you never took the time to get to know her to know that" sap said. "I-i never knew, I'm so so sorry Karl, if you want to identify as anything just try to tell me" Thomas said with pity in his eyes. "Going by Karla with she/her pronouns would be nice" I said. "Ok, I'll try" Thomas said. I know he's gonna take all that back after we get to the school. The bus stops at the school and everyone gets off. As soon as I walked through the doors I started to get pointed and laughed at. I run to the bathroom with tears in my eyes. I hide in one of the stalls with my feet not visible underneath the door. I pull my knees up to my chest and I wrap my arms around my legs. I put my head down into my knees and I start crying. I feel the vibration of a notification on my phone and I check it. It said:
Sapnap
Class for you is gonna start soon, so you better hury up on whatever you're doing

I checked the time, oh shit he's right class is starting soon, but I really don't feel like going to class so I guess I'll just skip. I message him back:
Karla Jacobs
I'm gonna skip today, but thanks for the reminder tho

I put my phone back in my pocket and put my head back in my knees and I start crying again. My head starts to really fucking hurt and I can't do anything about it but I currently wish I could. I lift my head up with tears still in my eyes. I'm trying to calm myself down but it's not working. I pull my phone out of my pocket and take off the case to see my blade, I take out the blade and put it to my wrist that's holding the phone. I message sap:
Karla Jacobs
Can you please come to the bathroom, where I am please

I slide the blade across my wrist, wanting to push down. I feel my phone buzz. Its sap:
Sapnap
I'm on my way now, I'll try to hurry

Oh thank god, I'm so thankful for him. I run the blade across my wrist again. He walks in and walks over to the stall I'm in. I unlock the stall for him and he stands there, starring at me. I run the blade across my wrist right in front of him and he gets down to my level. "Why are you doing this to yourself, you've got so much to live for, there's no need to" sap says, placing his hand on my cheek and caresses it. "There's no point in me living, I'm just suffering" I say, tears in my eyes. Sap just wraps his arms around me. What have I done, I thought. I slide the blade across my wrist again, but this time actually pushing down. I'm bleeding now, sap is just calm through all of this even though blood is dripping all over him. "Sap, how are you so calm" I ask. "I'm not calm, I'm just good at acting like it" sap replied while unwrapping his arms from around me. My breath starts to become shallow and shakey. Sap grabs my hand and wrist, and just stares at it. I'm still bleeding and the bleeding has become thicker now. I feel like I'm going to pass out, but I don't know how to tell sap. Sap presses his hand down on the cut, and the bleeding stops. "How'd you do that" I ask him. "Did you not know that if you put pressure on something that's bleeding it'll stop" sap replies. "No" I say. Sap looks down. "Luckily I knew" sap mumbles. What'd he mumble, I thought. We both sit in silence until we hear a teacher walk in. "Nicholas Armstrong and Karl Jacobs, are you in hear" we heard. Me and sap just went into silence, then the teacher knocks on the stall we were in. "I know you two are in there" the teacher said. Fuck, she can probably see our feet from the bottom of the stall door.