Etiquette 1 ~ Matheo Riddle

Chpt.2-The Party (unedited)

Saoibh's POV:

The party is overwhelming although almost all start of year parties are. The smell of firewhiskey enchants the room along with a few muggle alcohol drinks. Vodka , a poor muggles firewhiskey although it is rather nice not taste wise but it can get you fucked up quickly. I pull down my dress a bit as it started riding up and take a few deep breaths before going in. Trying to push yourself through a crowd at a party is nothing but tiresome and loathsome. I just want to get to the drinks but unfortunately I have to squeeze through a colossal pile of sweaty stupid teenage boys and teenage girls doused in litres of perfume. It stinks to say the least.

I make it to the drinks table and thank the lord the table is charmed! Each year a different house hosts the start of year party for 5th years and above and last year the huffleuffs charmed the drinks table to refill itself meaning never ending drinks. Go hiontach!

I'm going to get fucking polluted!

"Fucking hell love, look at me the way you look at that table" I hear in my ear as a shiver runs down my spine. Matheo. I push my elbow back and get him in the ribs.

"Feck off Matheo"

"I love your dress darling, you wore green" He says as he puts his hands around my waist running them up and down my sides. Why is that such a turn on. Fucking hell, if only he wasn't a colossal dick.

"I do have a colossal dick darling, want to see" He smirks.

I gasp" Quit reading my mind you daft cunt"

"Do you kiss your fiancé with that mouth?" He questions slyly.

"I don't kiss my fiancé at all"

"First time for everything love " He smirks as he leans closer.

"Nice try Riddle, now how about you go fuck yourself whilst I go get fucked." I say putting a finger over his mouth to shut him up. I walk away into the crowd downing my drink. I've decided I mean both terms of fucked for tonight.

"Fucked up or fucked sexually" He calls out after me to which I respond by sticking up my middle finger at him from behind. Both I think grinning

He calls after me but by now I'm in the crowd. "Hey have you seen Nisha" I tap Cho Chang's shoulder and ask. "Yeah she is over there with Nott" she replies. "Cheers Cho"

True to her word Nisha is over on Theodore Notts lap making out. Doesn't that make you ick, it does me. Having people watch you sucking another persons face on a couch which is behind sat on my 5 other couples all sucking on each others faces. That couch is used in all of the Slytherin parties, deemed the make out couch. It's in the dark corner of the common room and honestly it has probably contracted gonorrhoea over the years.

I'm not going to bother Nisha since I am 1. Not a cockblocker and 2. Scared she'll boot me. Oh well.

"Hello gorgeous" a voice from behind me whispers in my ear. It send shivers down my spine but in a bad way. Turning around was probably my worst decision because not only was it a jumpscare but it was also a move that would lead to an insufferable conversation with an absolutely selfish pig looking twat, my ex Marcus.

"Whilst I am gorgeous Dolohov, I don't wish to speak to you" 

I'm not sure if it's the alcohol or his face but I want to throw up. Oh boke.

" Come on Gorgeous, where did it go wrong."

I put on my hand on my chin and stroke my imaginary beard as if in deep thought, something he wouldn't know of.  Ugh an bhfuil sé ceart go leor!

"It went wrong somewhere in between us meeting and you with your face up Pansy Parkinsons skirt in the prefects bathroom. But then again that wasn't your fault."

"Baby you have to listen to me"

Ew, baby. Why do people call their partners baby, or babe, or bubs like what the actual fucking fuck. What is sexually appealing about calling somebody a baby.  If anything  should that not be a turn off. The people that call each other those names are always the most painfully cringey and twat like people. Shoot me.

I do want to hear what he has to say. Not to consider of course I'm not mentally deranged , but instead to feign understanding then leave him. Because ye know... fuck him and his 3 inch dick.

"I'll listen Marcus, I'll always listen to you baby." I reply when scrunching my eyebrows up to look like I'm guilty.  He looks awfully surprised which I find ultimately fucking hilarious.

"Right well it was a dare. Me and the boys , Casimir, Mathews and Gryffin were playing truth or dare .

"Oh and did one of them dare you to take pansy to the prefect bathroom and eat her out."

"Yeah. And also we haven't actually had sex and I'm a man. I'm a man with needs and if their not fulfilled I can't be in my best form to make you happy. If anything you should be thanking me, if it wasn't for my decisions I would've treated you horribly."

"Oh so I should thank you, I mean how can I deny that you have certain needs, as a big strong man." 

What an eejit this lad is. Fucking hell.

"You're finally understanding babe. Let's just get back together. Last summer was a mistake but it had to be done for you."

Fucking chancer. Right I'm not putting up with him any longer. I'll get Enzo.

" I forgive you babe , let me go get you a drink." I say as I sashay away. I didn't actually sashay away but it rhymes so ye know, I'm a poet and I don't know it . Shit I'm waffling now lads . I'm loaded.

I get to Enzo and tap him on the shoulder. 

"Hi Enzo"

"Hello Angel, what can I do for you?" He questions as he hands me another drink.

"I give you permission to beat up Marcus. To pulp Enzo , alright."

"Fucking finally, why now what did he do?"

I explain and by the end Enzo is red in the face. Me and Lorenzo have been friends forever and before anybody gets any idea like oooh potential ship, no. He is basically my brother and he feels the same about me so let's end that conversation there. I'm his angel and he's my honey. We made these nicknames for each other when we were younger because we watched some 50's movie all old timey and they all called each other sugar or pumpkin or honey or angel. We are just oh so funny.

"Please sort him out for me Enzo?" I say batting my eyelashes.

"You know I always will angel."

"Thanks honey" I laugh kissing his cheek which he whips off because I got lipstick on him. What a sweetie!

I'm not too mad he's smoking that dryshite. Marcus can lick my bigger tit for all I care, it is the left one by the way and it is only bigger by a wee bit so chill. Don't imagine me with a big saggy left tit that goes down to my knees and one that isn't visible. Fucking tits.

I down the rest of my drink and I'm about to go dance on the dance floor, shake some groove ye know when I hear the most infuriating voice bellow at me. The cheek on yer man.

"SAOIBH!" 

Whoopee?

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A/N: 

Before anybody starts Saoibh might be a bit chaotic sometimes but come on. Anyways now we've met Marcus Dolohov and Lorenzo Berkshire! 

We hate Marcus, we live laugh love Enzo, any hate towards my honey and I will personally rip your collarbone from your skeleton and feed it to you.

Saoibh by the way is supposed to be a bit mental sometimes, going off topic and talking. So yeahhhh. 

Also if you see the name Dearbhla in this it's because halfway through writing this story I decided I wanted Saoibh. This story is almost done but it's in drafts lol