Fix Me

Chapter 1

My eye lids flutter open and I stare at the ceiling above me. The room smells too clean to be mine and I start to sit up, confusion written all over my face, then the memories crash into me like a grenade.

The pain.

The sadness.

The pills.

I'm in the hospital. It didn't work. I failed.

I lie back down on the uncomfortable hospital bed, scolding myself for not taking enough pills to do the job, and I can faintly hear my mother's voice, urgent and serious, outside the door.

I close my eyes as my mom and another woman, who must be the doctor, walk in. They must have assumed I was asleep because the other woman starts to speak.

"We pumped all of the drugs out of her system," the other lady was saying, "so she should be good to go by the end of today. I recommend sending her to therapy at least three times a week, maybe four, due to the obvious depression Skye is suffering. It would be better to have her treated and diagnosed at a proper psychiatrist so they can give her the anti depressants that she may need," I hear the sound of papers moving, "any questions?"

There is no answer from my mom and the doctor finishes with, "Okay then. I will go get her release papers and be right back."

There is a shuffling of feet as she walks out of the room, closing the door behind her.

I can tell my mother is watching; I can see the sadness even behind my eyes lids.

"Skye?" I hear her voice after a few seconds, "I know you're awake, honey." She adds.

I sigh and open my eyes again to face the sad look of my mom that I had imagined earlier.

She had moved from where she had been standing with the doctor and was now sitting next to the hospital bed, her hands folded together on the side, "How do you feel?"

Like shit.

I look down at my own hands, "I'm fine."

My mother sighs, "I know that's not true. If it was you wouldn't have done this." She reaches for my hand and cradles it in her own, "You can tell me what's wrong."

I look at my mom. She is a beautiful woman with curly brown hair, like mine, and hazel eyes. My eyes, however, are brown like my father's but with small specks of gold. I only know he has brown eyes through pictures and faint memories. He died when I was ten.

It's just been my mom and I ever since. I've always thought she was beautiful and that I don't really look much like her. I'm not pretty, much less beautiful.

"I'm fine, mom. Really," I say, trying to sound convincing.

She sighs again, there will probably be a lot of that in the weeks to come, "Okay," she let's go of my hand and stands up, "Want me to get you something to eat?"

The mention of food made my stomach growl.

"I'll take that as a yes," she smiles before walking out of the room.

How could I have been so careless? I should have known it would take more than that to die.

~~~~

I hear my name being said in between kisses and I realize that I don't remember this girl's name.

In reply to the breathless calling of "Riley" my fingers find they're way to the hem of her shirt, tugging just enough to make her even more desperate for me.

I can feel her hands exploring my body underneath my T-shirt and a shiver runs through my body, making me hungrier for hers.

I lift her shirt over her head, revealing a lacy pink bra, then quickly yank my own off before crashing my lips back onto hers, shoving her against my bedroom wall.

She groans and turns her head as I move my kisses down her neck. Her body tastes so sweet and I begin to move lower, lower, letting my hands move up her back to her bra strap.

Then I faintly hear something that sounds like the front door slaming shut.

Oh shit!

I pull away, "you need to leave," I whisper yell.

The shirtless girl in front of me whines, "But Riley. We were having so much fun."

"You. Need. To. Go." I say more sternly, throwing her shirt to her, "my mom is home."

She slides her shirt over her head and looks at me with desperation, "Just one more kiss?"

I sigh and give her a small kiss on the cheek, then lead her to the back door, out of my mom's sight.

"Riley! Is that you?" My mom yells from the kitchen.

I place a smile on my face and come into her view, "No mom. It's a burgler who wants all your money."

She smiles back at me then continues with whatever she was doing at the stove.

"How was your day?" I ask, grabbing and apple and chomping into it.

I can see the tired look in her eyes as she looks up from her cooking, "It was okay. Just like any other day. How was school?"

"Boring. Just like any other day," I smirk.

She looks at me in a way that is supposed to mean something along the lines of "don't say that" but the only thing her looks could say are "I'm tired and need to get some sleep."

I look at my mom with concern, "why don't you go take a nap, mom?"

"Because if I take a nap," she makes air quotes with her fingers at this word, "I won't be waking up until tomorrow."

"I know," a chuckle escapes my lips, "but you need sleep. I can handle myself for dinner."

"You sure?"

I nod.

"Okay then. Goodnight honey," she kisses my forehead and walks to her room.

Typical evening. Might as well call Jake and have him come over for dinner.
I grab my phone and press Jake's number, hearing it ring three times before he picks up, "Yup," he greets me.

"Hey man. You hungry?"

"I'll be right over."