Purge (Larry Stylinson au)

Chapter 3

"Harry-"

"Go away Niall."

"Harry,"

"I don't want to talk right now."

"Hazza, just open the door."

Harry groans, sliding down against the wall. He cradles his belly in his hands, still in shock. 

He's pregnant.

And he's four months along already, according to Rose. It's been three days since he's found out. 

He's still not sure what to think. He's always wanted a baby. He's definitely always wanted a baby with Louis. But now that it's actually happening, he's bloody terrified. 

They're in the middle of a brutal civil war and Harry's their best soldier. He has to be out in the field fighting, not stuck at the base pregnant and caring for the baby once it's born. 

On top of that, Louis is dead. The baby is going to grow up with only one parent, and Harry doesn't know if he'll even be able to make it through the pregnancy without Louis by his side. He doesn't know how he's going to raise a child without his boyfriend, but he knows it's going to hurt. 

This baby is going to be a constant reminder of the man he loved and lost. This baby is going to stop him from moving on. This baby will probably have Louis's piercing blue eyes and messy caramel hair. This baby is going to break his heart by merely existing because every time Harry thinks about it, he's going to think about Louis and that will break him. 

A part of him resents Louis for leaving him with a baby in the middle of the war. He knows it's not Louis's fault. They're both to blame. Everything they've ever done has been consensual, but he still feels a little bitter. 

Louis gave him a baby, something that would have made Harry overjoyed just three years ago, but then he was killed and he never even knew that he's a father. Now Harry's left to raise this baby on his own with a broken heart and nothing but memories of his boyfriend to give to their child. 

So Harry cries. He's been crying a lot lately. It's all he ever seems to do anymore. 

"Harry," Niall pleads, still standing on the other side of the door. "Just let me in."

Harry doesn't want to talk to Niall right now. Even the thought of seeing his best friend makes him want to scream, but he also knows Niall won't give up, so he forces himself to stand and open the door, just as he did three days ago. 

Niall's standing there with Zayn and Liam behind him. Harry rolls his eyes when he sees them. Of course Niall told them. 

"We just wanted to make sure you're okay..." Niall says hesitantly. 

"Do I look okay?" Harry deadpans. 

"Well..." Liam hesitates, unwilling to answer the question. 

"It doesn't matter," Zayn cuts him off. "Come here, love."

He reaches out and envelops Harry in a tight hug, radiating comfort and love and warmth and everything Harry's been missing for the past month. Zayn rubs his back softly and presses a kiss into his hair. 

He hasn't felt this loved, this cared for, since Louis died. The last time he had a proper hug for no reason other than simple love was with Louis. Other than that it's been his friends quite literally keeping him upright at Louis's funeral or after he watched him die. 

And Zayn is slightly taller than Louis, but they have a similar build: slender, toned chest, quiffed hair, and small hands. For a moment, Harry can imagine that it's Louis holding him. He can imagine that it's Louis pressing kisses into his hair and Louis tracing circles on his back. 

And that thought breaks him.

He begins to sob again, burying his face in Zayn's shoulder. Zayn just shushes him gently, never letting go as Niall and Liam stand behind him, watching Harry with sadness glazing their eyes. 

"I'm so sorry you have to go through all this, Haz," Zayn mutters after a few minutes. "But think about it. I know it's not ideal, but this is everything you and Lou ever wanted. You're having a baby. Isn't that incredible?"

Harry takes a shaky breath and pulls away, looking his friend in the eyes. He nods slightly. "Yeah. It is."

Zayn raises his eyebrows kindly. "See? There is a bright side. I know you're going to be the best parent to this little one, no matter what. But do you want to talk about anything?"

Harry sniffles slightly, walking over to his bed. His friends follow him into the room and Zayn sits down beside him. Niall and Liam both sit cross-legged on the floor. 

"I just..." Harry starts, unsure of how to vocalize what he's been feeling, "I don't know what to think. Obviously, I'm happy I'm having a baby. I'm so excited. I've always wanted to be a father, but..."

He stops, his voice breaking. He presses his face into his hands, trying to stop the tears that just won't stop flowing.

Niall gives him a sympathetic smile. "But you wanted Louis to be there too."

Harry nods. "Yeah. I don't want this baby to grow up with only one dad. And I don't want it to grow up in a warzone either. But we're nowhere near defeating the Purge, and I don't see an end  to this war any time soon. I'm so scared to bring another life into this world, because I'm afraid it's going to get hurt and if I lose this baby... I've already lost too much. My mum, my sister, my boyfriend... I can't lose my baby too."

"You're not going to lose the baby, Harry," Liam assures him. "We're going to keep you safe. We're going to keep you here, at the base until the baby's born, and then when that happens, we'll keep it safe here with the other refugees. There are plenty of babies here already, we can protect yours as well."

"And if anyone tries to hurt you or the baby," Zayn adds, taking Harry's hand gently, "We'll give 'em hell. We'd all risk everything to protect the two of you."

Harry looks up at him. "Why?"

Liam sighs softly. "Louis's been Zayn's and my best friend since primary school. Long before he even met you, the three of us knew that we'd give anything to protect each other."

"And when the war started, we promised him that we would protect you just as fiercely," Zayn says. "He's our best friend. The least we can do to honor him and his memory is to protect his family."

"And I'm always gonna protect you too, lad," Niall chimes in, grinning slightly. "You've been my best mate since before we could even walk. I'm not gonna let anything happen to you or your baby."  

Harry sniffles again. "I don't deserve you all."

Zayn smiles softly and wraps Harry in another tight hug. "You deserve the world, Harry. And we're going to do our best to give it to you."

Liam and Niall nod their agreements, and stand to embrace Harry as well, creating a massive group hug. They stay that way for a few minutes, four friends tangled in each others arms, crying tears of grief, love, fear, and hope until Niall kills the mood by asking Harry if he's thought of any names. 

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A/N: Sorry, this chapter wasn't the greatest. Hopefully it'll get better!

Again thanks for reading! Let me know if you have any suggestions or questions for me :)