If only...

07.angry

"Maybe you should take a break and go to a quiet place to relax."
I said that because I was upset for her and wanted to help her in any way... I mean she was angry and annoyed. I didn't want to ignore her as if it didn't concern me, in the end she helped me and still does even though I didn't ask her to.

She turned her head and looked at me several times and still focused on the road then sighed and said.

"Do you have one to recommend me?"

" The beach... the best place to escape and get some peace"
I said that and then looked at her.

"In such an weather?"

"Yes, it's the best time of the year to go to the beach"

"Do you have plans for the day to go somewhere or do something?"
She said that after being silent for a few minutes, thinking about my suggestion.

"N ... no!"

I said that with astonishment.. Why is she asking me about my plans? Did she ignore what I said a while ago and change the subject?

"So you will go to the beach with me"

"What?!"

"Is there a problem with that?"
She said that and then looked at me

"Not ... at all, but I thought you wanted a quiet place to be alone for a while to no one disturbs you so I was surprised by your request."

"You are not an annoying person, you know when to talk and when to be silent which is a good thing, you look like tiny tot but you are clever."
She said as she focused on the road.

I didn't know how to respond to her, my heart was beating fast with joy and my face turned red, and suddenly it became hot, well ... I'm not a person who cares about compliments but what she said made me feel happy.

"So, will you come?"
She said that to cross my thoughts

"ok ...yes... if that doesn't bother you"

"good"
she said that and then changed the direction of the car to go to the beach, after less than an hour we arrived and the view was breathtaking but the weather was very cold, she parked the car and we started walking enjoying the view of the beach despite the cold weather. We didn't talk much and just stared at the beach enjoyed the calmness that prevailed in the place because there was no one there, as there was nothing but calmness and the sound of water and our breath fog because of the cold weather.
She was very calm. Her features gradually changed and began to return to her normal state and when I say her normal state, I mean her cold, inexplicable features.

" There is a restaurant not far from here ... would you like to eat or drink something hot to warm your body ... you know it's cold?"
I asked hesitantly

She was putting her hands in her jacket pocket and looking at the water, then she turned her face to me and said:
"If you insist, I will not refuse"

"Yes, i insisted, 'cause we're almost freezing here"
I said that while shivering from the cold and hugging my body with my arms to warm myself.

"she smiled and nodded in agreement"

In the restaurant, we sat near a window overlooking the beach.
We ordered food and hot drinks, contemplate the beauty and calmness of the place, especially since the place was not crowded in addition to the dim lighting of the place which radiated warmth and peace, and it was getting dark so everything was perfect. Despite the simplicity of the place, sitting there was like a psychological therapy session

"Do you come here often?"
She said that while drinking from the cup of coffee in her hand.

"Yes, whenever I feel uncomfortable I come here regardless of the time or weather."

"Then you should get used to seeing me here."

"I do not mind"
i said that with joy because I felt that she loved the place.

"So, do you and your father live alone?"

"yes, we do"

" How long ?"

"Since my mother passed away"
I said that while pretending to be strong and ignoring my tears that began to gather in my eyes.

"sorry... I didn't know"
She said that while looking at me with surprise and guilt because she noticed that I was sad because I remembered my mother.

It's okay...it was a long time ago ... She passed away when she gave birth to me and ... and I didn't get a chance to see her ... so I don't remember her features, I don't have memories with her... and maybe this is better for me.
I said that while drinking from the cup of hot milk in my hand and avoiding looking directly at her.

"I didn't know your mom passed away, I thought your parents got divorced or something like that so you live alone with your dad ... sorry for your loss"
She said that while looking at me with a warm and sympathetic look.

"It's ... it's okay, you don't have to apologize"
I said that while avoiding looking into her eyes.

She extended her hand and held the palm of my hand to console me ... my hand rested in her palm for a while and I will not exaggerate if I said that I felt that I had forgotten all my problems and worries in those moments when her palm was embracing mine. My feelings scattered and I felt confused, but beautifully,
I raised my eyes from our palms and looked at her ... when she smiled at me gently, my face became red and my heart almost exploded ... I've been looking at her like idiot.

"Are you okay?"
She said as she pulled her hand.

I was screaming in my mind refusing to let go of my hand, beg her to let her palm hold mine for a few more moments.

"yes... yes I'm ... but I was wondering, do you feel better now?
I said that with stuttering and without focus because I was still pre occupying my senses to feel what was left of the warmth of her palm on mine.

"So ... is everything ok?, if you want you can talk to me about whatever you want"

"Everything is fine, but it's just that I lose control of my temper sometimes, nothing more."

"Well ... great... i hope that"

Although she is still reserved and does not want to talk about her problems with me, but we have made great progress in our relationship today, I feel that we are closer now and I am happy with this progress, why, I do not know.

After we finished our meal, which I paid for after an argument that I managed to win, she gave me a ride home and went after I thanked her for the ride.
That night I was tossing and turning in my bed unable to sleep, I was thinking of her and trying to remember the warmth of her hand.
The feelings I felt at that moment were new to me.

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