THE GUARD DOGS (OT7)

⛓Ch. 12: Old Memories (P. 2)

He swallows hard and seems uncomfortable, shocked at the way I act. He's never been yelled at like this... never put in his place... never talked down on.

"My mother is dead and I blame you and your father for it."

His eyes widen and he lets a shaky breath out, glancing around the room and spotting photos of my mother and I on my fridge from when I was younger.

"Your father paid the school off so that they would sweep your bullying accusations under the rug as to not tarnish your family name. Yet, you continued tormenting me like it was some sick game till I was scared to even go to school." I lean forward, feeling tears prick my eyes. "She was so young, only thirty-one when she died. She worked so much so that she could afford to move me to a new school just so I'd be away from you but... she became extremely sick from working twelve to fourteen hour shifts daily on top of constantly having injuries at her factory job and it took it's toll."

"I'm sorry." He whispers under his breath, gripping the bottom hem of his hoodie.

"She died because she refused to go to the hospital and pay medical bills for herself. She wanted all the money to go towards giving me a better future and insisted she only had a cold." My tone gets higher pitch and I feel tears running down my cheeks, "You took her future away! You took mine away... and now, I'm left to try to figure it out all by myself since my remaining family is dead."

"Y/n, please I- "

"No! No, I said to listen to every word I say and I am not finished. You wanted an explanation so I'm giving it to you and you're damn lucky I am. You're the one who wanted it, right?

"Yes, but what does that all have to do with the drugs? I'm sorry, I just don't understand." He practically whimpers out.

I sigh and relax myself, "I can tell my words are hitting you hard. You deserve to know what your bullying has caused me and I hope this makes you realize that your actions always have consequences, even if the consequences don't happen to you specifically. It happens to someone in general and that is more than enough of a reason to not be a shit human being."

"I'm sorry, I had no clue it caused this all."

I take a large gulp of my beer, Taehyung not touching his anymore as if he feels like he'd be taking even more away from me. He sits silently and still, not knowing what to say in regards to this situation.

"With all the money that she earned for me before she died during the summer after fifth grade, I was able to use it to help pay off the house and an orphanage kindly paid the rest. They supplied me for some years with everything I could possibly need and a sweet nun working there stepped in as a legal guarding so I could stay in this home, the only thing left of my mother. I had sold everything else so I could begin making ends meet by myself and in high school I started forging documents with fake parental names and ID's. Not sure how but here I am, I won't give this house up no matter what." I chuckle lightly to myself and look around the small place as I remember how lively it used to feel when my mother was here.

"I see. I'm so sorry you've had to be alone for so long. I honestly had no clue." Tears fall from his eyes and my heart softens for him.

"I know." My tone is hushed, "You were a kid just like me and I know you had no clue my mother died. I'm just... angry. I should be way more angry towards your father, not you, but your actions are what caused this all so- " I slowly look up and meet his gaze, "please understand why I've resented you so much. Please understand and use that knowledge to fix your actions in the future for your own and other's sake."

"I will." Is all he says in response and for the first time ever, I believe him.

"I hope you can understand that telling you about my current illegal activity you had asked about had to include this backstory for you to understand the gravity of it all." I stand to grab more beers for us, "I've also waited a very long time to give you a piece of my damn mind."

"I don't blame you." He scoffs, surprisingly agreeing.

"Here, you'll need another. I can already tell." I allude to his obvious stress and concern with what all I just dumped on him.

I pop the metal tops off with the defined edge of the dark wooden kitchen table and slide one across to him.

"I was a top student in high school since I needed to get scholarships for college. I was so busy studying because I naturally struggle in school so I knew I wouldn't have the time for a part time job, especially as a full time college student. So," I quirk a brow and take a sip, "Freshman year of college I found a posting on a forum discussing ways to get good money fast and selling drugs was the most efficient, I guess." I shrug and he nods in understanding, "I was only going to sell marijuana for maybe a year to save up for myself aside from basic needs like food and clothes but- " I look up and grin, slightly embarrassed, "it was one hell of an easy job that paid better than most."

"So, you just continued without any issues?"

"Well, I had realized that I had to because other students who work are in college part time and also have family to fall back on. If I was part time I'd lose many scholarships and would be absolutely screwed. That's why I sell, it's my only option honestly."

"Wow, my parents just signed one check for all four years when I was accepted to the school!" He says in disbelief and I wouldn't expect anything less to come out of his mouth.

I glare at him and his brows raise.

"Damn, maybe I am privileged."

"You think?" I roll my eyes but let it go, "Just do me a favor and please become aware of that privilege. Saying things like that can really effect others. I'm just used to you being a dick, is all." I chuckle.

(EDIT: I've met people in college like this and it's so fucking annoying💀)

"Anyways, that's the story. That's why I have to act like a model student no matter what and that's why I do the things I do behind the scenes. Now, I promised I'd supply you free shit time to time if you were to keep this all a secret."

"Yes, I will. I promise." He seems to hesitate.

"What? You seem like you want to say something?" I feel a little nervous.

"I just... I just want you to know I had no clue about your mother and I'm sorry my family and I caused something so traumatic to happen to you. I know I'm not a good person, it's evident. But, I'm thankful that you told me everything. I was wrong about you, or... I mean, who I thought you were."

My eyes widen slightly, taken back by his genuine apology.

"Have you ever apologized to someone like that before?"

"No."

We sit in silence as we take it all in, trying to both steady our minds after so much has happened.

"It feels good." Taehyung breathlessly says as I cock my head to the side, "To apologize, I mean." He looks up to me.

My lips press together in a small, tight smile and I nod.

"It feels good," I sigh out, "to forgive."