Beyond Alteration

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17 September 2018

"Will you be really okay? I really don't care about the leave," Banshin asked Hansung for the thousandth time already. 

"Yeah, it's okay. You both go. I don't want Junha to miss classes. He's in high school now. And I don't want him to be alone at school. Especially now," Hansung signed. 

Banshin heaved a long sigh and grabbed Hansung's face to press a kiss on his forehead. "I'll call you when I can, yeah?" he said and then after a hesitant beat, "I know you can't digest your food without seeing this face," he added while gesturing to his face with a small ingenuine smirk. 

It was a poor attempt at making Hansung smile, and even though it did work, he wished desperately for everything to go back to normal. Even though it had just been two days since everything just plummeted downhill, he couldn't help but feel like it had been a year already. 

He couldn't even begin to imagine how Junha felt about the entire situation, let alone Hansung, who had not once behaved like himself ever since that man showed his face in that cursed mart. 

No matter how hard Hansung tried to pretend like he had just overreacted earlier out of momentary panic, that he was fine now and that the monster's presence didn't affect him at all, Banshin could see right through his act and it kept him from sleeping in the night. 

He had spent the previous two nights just holding both his husband and son in his arms as they slept, caressing their backs comfortingly whenever either of them jumped in their sleep because of the nightmares that the wretched man had brought back with his appearance. 

"Yes, yes, you know me well, now go. Yoongi hyung and Hobi hyung are going to be here soon. I'll be fine," Hansung said, making Banshin sigh again. He still couldn't believe that it wasn't Yoongi and Hoseok that lied to Hansung about Jeongguk's death, but Jihyo, Jeongguk's mother, who had lied to Yoongi and Hoseok about it. 

"Fine, I'll call you, okay?" he said again. 

Always the narcissist, there were times when he just used his narcissism to cover his own desires instead, the current situation being one. He wasn't sure if he would even be able to gulp a drop of water without seeing Hansung's face and making sure he was fine. 

Hansung rolled his eyes, having understood his husband well enough in the past few months. He lightly patted his shoulder, intending to hit him, but softened his touch at the very last moment. 

"Just go. Take care of my son," he mock-glared at the end, earning a pout from his resident pet rabbit. "Our son," it said, the pout only intensifying with the words. 

"Aish, you know what I mean! Now go before I kick you out and slam the door in your face!! You're getting late, both of you!!" Hansung signed aggressively and looked at Junha, who was standing by the elevator and playing with the lace of his shoes as he gave his parents the privacy he knew they needed. 

Hansung clapped his hands, grabbing Junha's attention. "Don't worry, okay? Don't think about him and just attend your classes. If you don't feel too goo-"

"Yeah, I'll go to Banniepa if I don't feel good. You stop worrying first before telling others," Junha said with a little hint of annoyance in his voice. 

Ever since he properly registered the fact that his father had tried to leave him again, he couldn't help but feel like the least important person to him. That his father didn't love him. That his love wasn't being reciprocated by him. Without even realizing it, he started avoiding him a little, talking only when needed and making sure to get straight to the point without caring if he sounded rude.