Beyond Alteration

A

15 September 2018

Fourteen hours. 

That was how long it took for them to finally digest what was happening. 

That they had lived in the dark for the past one and a half years, that the monster that still didn't fail to haunt Hansung's dreams was still alive, that he was trying to get Hansung back for some reason, that he either didn't know about Hansung's new identity or refused to use his new name, that Banshin was suddenly upgraded from the position of father and husband to the official protector of the beyond traumatized family...

The list was already too long and they could keep going. 

Hansung was released about three hours after he was admitted into the hospital, after the doctor declared very sadly that his barely healed vocal cords were damaged again and that if it happened again, they would become beyond repairable. 

Ever since then, Banshin had not let go of him even for a second. He had him wrapped in his arms, secure on his lap, and kissed his temple protectively every once in a while, whenever his trembling became too hard or a shudder passed through his spine. 

They were in Seokjin's house, the day thankfully being a Saturday, and Dohyeon sat hugging Junha to provide him with some comfort. 

"Tell us what you are thinking, baby," Banshin said when Hansung shuddered yet again. He rubbed his back comfortingly, but it did nothing to bring Hansung out of the trance that he had slipped into ever since he realized who that Banshin-like man was. 

"Hannie-yah," Banshin called out gently, using his other hand to rub Hansung's arm and pull him in closer. When it didn't work, he gently placed his hand on Hansung's face and turned it towards himself. Without minding the kids, he leaned in and placed a firm kiss on his lips, making him shudder yet again. 

"Look at me, hmm?" Banshin said, stroking Hansung's cheek with his thumb. Hansung's eyes remained glossy and semi-focussed, but Banshin still counted it as a success when he looked at him. "Tell me what you are thinking, baby," he said. 

'Bannie...' Hansung started, his eyes widening when he couldn't say it out loud. 'Why...?' panic filled his eyes, making Banshin's eyes tear up immediately. 

"It's okay, baby. You just strained them today. Let's give your throat some rest for a few days, okay? Let's think of it as an opportunity to improve my sign language. Okay?" 

'But...'

"Hannie..."

Hansung let his head fall on Banshin's shoulder and signed, "okay," with a pout. 

"Now tell me what you are thinking. Please. Don't bottle them up. And please don't...." Banshin's voice broke harshly, making Hansung get up to look at him. 

There was not a single dry eye in the room, but it didn't matter to him. Hansung knew exactly what was making Banshin bite his lower lip so harshly, and it made him feel guilty. Yes, he still did not want to live when that man was still alive, but now that he was slightly back to his senses, he couldn't help but feel guilty for trying to leave Banshin and Junha again. 

"....don't do that....d-don't do it agai-"

Hansung put his hand on Banshin's lips gently to cut him off and then looked at Junha, who was nodding vigorously as he sobbed. 

"Come here," he signed to his son.  

Junha couldn't scramble fast enough to get to his parents and under their arms before starting to wail like an infant. There were so many things he was crying for, and he couldn't sort them out. He didn't even want to. He just wanted to let them out.