Red vs Blue with a new character joining in the mix.
Agent New Mexico lost all his memories during his time in Project Freelancer, he found his way to Blood Gulch. After being assigned to Blue team, he now has to deal with all the madness and chaos...
Camera zooms to the Warthog with Church's words "going to drive me crazy.. drive me crazy.." echoing in the background.
Warthog:(emits a series of beeps like the beginning of a dial-up connection) Drive.
Sarge: Jumpin' Jehozafats, they've cracked the code. Those dern windtalkers.
The Warthog drives straight at Doc and hits him. He lands in the driver's seat as it continues driving away with him
Donut: Hey, he's taking the jeep!
Doc: Help, this jeep is kidnapping me!
Donut: Now he's taunting us. This is just embarrassing.
Simmons: Hey, Sarge, new rule. (camera shows the Reds watching the Warthog drive off into the middle of the canyon) How 'bout we just don't take any more prisoners, since we seem to suck at it.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
Cut to the Blues. Caboose is kneeling in front of Church. The beeping is still present.
Caboose: I see a switch down here. (whispersloudly) It's not very big.
Arroyo: (laughs) Hey Tucker, how much you wanna bet Tex said the same thing?
Tucker: Oh I'm not gonna take a losing bet.
Church: Can the two of you focus?!
Arroyo: Alright, alright. Caboose flip the switch.
Church: Wait, stop.
Warthog:(in the background, in the middle of the canyon, emits its series of beeps) Stop. (stops moving)
Church: Caboose... do you know how to work a switch?
Caboose: Uhhhhhhh...
Church: Alright. Here's a full tutorial then. The switch is pointed in one direction, just turn it around so that it's pointed in the other direction.
Warthog: Turn around. (starts turning around)
Caboose:(a small metallic noise is heard) Oops. (there's the sound of electricity) It broke itself.
Church: Ugh!
Cut to the Warthog as it finishes turning, now facing the Reds.
Doc: Oh man, what now?
Cut to a close-up of the Reds.
Grif: That does not look good. Nice kitty, nice kitty. (Donut starts backing up)
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
Cut to the Blues. Arroyo, Tucker, and Caboose are kneeling next to Church.
Tucker: Okay, I see two wires down here. One's green, the other one's red.
Caboose: What about the blue one?
Tucker: That's your thumb, idiot.
Church: Come on, guys, just grab whichever one goes to the switch, and yank it out.
Arroyo: Give us a minute to figure this out.
Tucker: Eh, I can't tell which one goes over there.
Church: Then just yank 'em both.
Arroyo: That's a bad idea, we don't know what the wires even do if we take them out.
Caboose:(stands up) Church, if we pick the wrong one.. (whispers) You could explode.
Church: I don't care, look, just follow the red one.
Cut to the Warthog.
Warthog: Acquire target: red.
Grif: Uh, Sarge, y-you, you may wanna start running. (Donut and Simmons back away) Now. (backs awayalso)
Sarge: Ahhhhh fudge pumps.
Cut to the Blues. Caboose is kneeling again.
Tucker: Okay, I see what's going on here. The red one goes close to the switch, and the green one goes.. eugh, someplace else.
Church: Fine, just pull it. Take out the red one.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
Cut to the Warthog ramming Sarge into the wall of Red Base.
Sarge: Oh, I'm pinned!
Warthog:(emits dial-up noise again) Eliminate red target. (the turret gun starts firing and getting progressively closer to Sarge's head)
Grif: You're gonna kill him!
Sarge: What a way to go. Killed by my own mechanical creations. I'm sure there's a philosophical lesson to be learned from all this.
Simmons: Something about the dangers of technology and the unwavering pride of mankind?
Sarge: No, something about hiring better help that doesn't just stand around watching you die!
