My New Life ➼ Harry Styles

Chapter 14

*1 week later*

It's getting closer to the concert! I can't wait anymore. I'll finally meet the guy or the guys that is the only reason I'm still here and when I meet them I'm going to thank them for that.

I just want happiness in my life, but I'll probably never get that because of Jasmine. I wonder how long she will do this to me?

I'm laying down in my bed. I'm staying home from school today I just can't let her hurt me anymore.

I was bored so I wrote a letter:

" I'm so tired of being hated. I'm tired that I cry every single day. I hate my life. I don't understand why I live? People hates me, everything I do is wrong. I hate the feeling that I probably never gonna feel happiness ever again. What should I do? I hate everything. I'm just worthless. Maybe it's true that nobody wants me here"

I should be thinking about good things. Wait, there's no "good things" because they doesn't exist. I wonder when the good things starts to exist. But the question is: will my life ever be good again?

I'm so lost. I want to move to another city. I want to get away from Jasmine. I want to be happy. But I can't move because my mom doesn't know anything. I'm not ready to tell her.

- Honey, don't you have a test today in school? My mom asked.

- No, it's tomorrow! I lied.

- Have you study to it?

- mom don't worry. I can everything already. I lied.

I haven't study to the test today. I can't do it.

I going to fail the test anyway, it's impossible to concentrate when Jasmine is around, because she does everything to destroy my school works/tests.

I laid me down in my bed and laid my head in my pillow.

My mom came into the room.

- Honey, you need to go to school now!

- Yeah yeah mom, I said.

She walked out again and closed the door.

I pulled me slowly out of bed and walked to the mirror.

"Wow, I'm so ugly. Now I understand why nobody wants me, I look like fucking pig as Jasmine said. I'm not only ugly I'm fat too" I thought to myself.

I walked to school. I don't want to talk to anyone today. I wanna be alone because I'm too ugly and fat to everyone.

- Hi Ella! Louise said.

- Hi Louise.. I said.

- What's going on?

- I hate myself at the moment. I'm so ugly and fat.. I said and looked down.

Louise put a hand on my shoulder and said:

- Don't ever say that again, because it's not true! You're not ugly, you're not fat either! So stop saying that!

- Really? I asked.

- I'm telling the truth, Louise said and smiled.

I smiled at her and gave her a hug.

- So have you study to the test?

- No, I said and shook my head.

- Oh, well I guess I understand why you haven't.

I nodded. I want to think about something than that stupid test.

I saw Jasmine walked towards to me. She looked angry at me, I ignored it. She walked past me but I felt a push from her on my arm.

- Excuse me? watch your back! You don't have to walk into me! Jasmine said.

- I didn't walk into you, you walked into me! I said.

- Eh no? Why're you lying?

- I don't want to have this discussion with you.. I said with a shaky voice.

- Are you scared? Jasmine said.

- No I'm not! I lied.

- What? I can't hear you! Jasmine said.

I ran away. My tears streamed down my face. I hate her so much.

- Yeah just run! Run home and cry in front of your mommy! Jasmine said and laughed.

I ran home and rushed up to my room and laid me down on my bed.

My tears streamed down my face, it won't stop. I hate this, I hate everything. I don't want to live like this anymore.

Mom must wonder why I don't take friends home or why I don't hang out with friends except Louise.

I want to scream that I'm not fine. I want everyone to know that I'm helpless, hopeless and lonely!

This life is a nightmare. It feels like I never will get out of it. She destroys my life! She has destroyed everything have.

It's because of her I have lost hope for everything. Nothing is the same anymore... I want to die!