𝑩𝑹𝑰𝑻𝑰𝑺𝑯 𝑩𝑬𝑳𝑳𝑬 𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐚𝐫𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐛𝐚𝐥𝐝 [𝟏]

PRET-A-POOR-J

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO | pret-a-poor-j

Every girl fantasies about finding her Prince Charming. A girl has to take matters into her own hands.'

☆

"Are you kidding? You're talking about Blair Waldorf." Vanessa looked insulted as she spoke, Madeleine sighed from beside her, "She and Chuck just used me as catnip for one of their twisted little games."

"Are you serious?" Dan questioned as he raised a hand to grip Vanessa's shoulder.

"Yeah, and what they did was really messed up."

Madeleine lent against the bar and studied her champagne as she listened to Vanessa and Dan, blocking our the amplified voices within the art gallery.

"Vanessa, I think sometimes you need to widen your opinions on people." Madeleine circled the rim of her glass whilst she spoke. "Blair and Chuck are schemers, yes, but you let them walk all over you. They aren't entirely to blame."

Vanessa scoffed and turned to face w, Dan looked towards the gallery and tapped his finger against the wooden bar top. Madeleine couldn't decide if Vanessa's expression was that of disgust or humiliation; she found little care for either.

"Just because you join in with their fucked up games doesn't mean they are excusable."

"Yes, but despite that moral high ground you try to cling to, you are just like them."

Madeleine pursed her lips as Vanessa opened her mouth, presumably attempting to construct a reply. With a slight tilt of her head, Madeleine simply raised her eyes brows and waited. Dan looked for solace within the passers-by but struggled to latch onto anyone.

"I would never do what they did. Ever."

"Yeah, I bet." Madeleine replied drily.

Madeleine walked back towards the gallery, vaguely identifying that Dan and Vanessa had struck up conversation once again. Nate walked past and headed towards Dan and Vanessa without a single word to her. Despite the exile of Catherine, Madeleine had yet to speak to Nate with more than a 'Hey' or 'See you soon.' On the single occasion they had spoken for longer than utterly necessary, it a rubbed a balm into stinging wounds. A small step towards something reminiscent of the months past, yet all too different.

"Dan, I can't possibly believe you tried out for football."

"Soccer."

"Wrong."

Dan chuckled as he and Madeleine continued to walk through the park. Dan had stumbled across her at the gates of the park and asked for her company with the intent of divulging his newest discovery.

"I thought I was meeting Nate at his house yesterday." Dan began, Madeleine hummed in recognition. "When I got there, everything was gone. Just a sleeping bag and a few suits hung on the fire. I - I can't believe he didn't mention that he was in trouble."

Madeleine nodded slowly. She had known only since last night. Chuck had convinced her to spend the day in his hotel suit with Eric, which subsequently led to a late night walk amidst the Upper East Side night life - which was few and far between.

Nate was walking towards her, his head watched each step he took, oblivious to Madeleine's presence just feet away. He readjusted the duffel bags on his shoulders before she spoke.

"Nate." Madeleine called softly, his head raised to meet her eyes across the distance between them. "Hi."

"Talking to me again, then?" Nate snapped.

Madeleine let out a small breath of disbelief. "Christ, Nate. Who pissed in your cereal?"

"Why haven't you answered my calls?" Nate questioned, his feet unmoving. "Or any of my texts?"

"I told you I needed time." Madeleine tried to keep eye contact as she spoke, "Nate, you have to understand that — that it's going to take time for this to feel normal again."

"Madeleine, I'm trying! I'm trying to work on making things normal again."

"Nate, I don't want to have this conversation in the middle of the pavement." Madeleine covered her eyes and dug the heel of her palm into them. "Can we just go inside and talk about this, please?"

"No," Nate shook his head, "No, I'm going to Dan's."

"At quarter to midnight?"

"Yeah."

Madeleine looked towards the small smattering of stars above them. She couldn't look at him and she did not know why. It hurt. Truthfully Madeleine consistently pushed the pain away, the kind that settles beneath the final bones of a rib cage. Close enough to the heart that it is almost medically worrying, until the realisation dawns. For some it's anger. Others an insatiable desire so tangible it becomes a physical ache.

It was guilt, possibly. Madeleine had pushed Nate so far from her that he didn't feel safe enough to ask for help. It was empathy, maybe. Although the heartache of wanting to grab him but knowing the pain they had inflicted upon each other.

The pain, this hot stab that liquified the more she dwelt upon it, was comparable to that of something she had read. An ideal, a fictional, infallible concept that seemed to fit almost perfectly.

An invisible string. Wound around her heart, crossing between her ribs like some grotesquely delicate corset that constricted her every breath. Each step that opened the chasm between Nate and Madeleine pulled the string taut.

Neither took a step forward. Madeleine kept watching the sky.

"I would've helped, Nate." Madeleine offered, "I still would. You only need to ask."

"We can't do this here. Or now."

"I know." Madeleine gave a smile in the hopes it was a reassurance. A small step to loosen the pull.

Madeleine saw Blair briefly as she walked past the doors and headed towards to roof. Her and Serena shared a smile before moving around the exhibition. Rufus passed by Madeleine, his large grin set his face alight as he hugged her tightly and thanked her for helping set up the exhibition.

Madeleine found home for a time on a secluded bench at the back of the gallery, watching the planet that the centre of the room as people orbited around in wonder.

The solitude was welcoming. Life in New York seemed to move at an incomprehensible speed that left little room for quiet moments void of games or schemes, studying or emotional whiplash from friends.

Quiet never seemed to last long.

Chuck crossed the floor in strides, walking towards the back exit without so much as a glance in any other direction. It would have been cruel to leave him alone, Madeleine followed, sacrificing her quiet minutes.

"Chuck!" Madeleine called after him as he descended the stairs. "Don't you dare ignore me, you arsehole I know where you live!"

Madeleine watched as he tightened and loosened his grip on the railing methodically. "I'm not in the mood for one of your moralising lectures."

"Whatever just happened with Blair," Madeleine walked down two stairs and waited, watching to see if Chuck skittered away. "Don't sit and wallow because you can't decided if she feels the same way you do."

"Respectfully, Madeleine you know nothing about this."

"No, actually I do." Madeleine moved down another step, her heel rattled against the metal, "I know how Blair feels about you."

"Madeleine." Chuck spoke warily.

"Don't leave her like this, Chuck, please." Madeleine gripped his hand as he looked towards the opposite wall. "I know what being left half in-love and humiliated feels like."

"I'll bring the car around," Chuck carried on down the stairs, Madeleine trailed behind. "I'll get you home before I go to her."