𝔄𝔫 ℑ𝔫𝔣𝔦𝔫𝔦𝔱𝔶 𝔄𝔴𝔞𝔶 | Katsuki Bakugo x OC

Chapter 63 - Purple Calm

Within her thoughts, his face turned into his tear streaked frown, the screams dug out from his anguish as he held Hina's corpse in his arms. The face he wore in her dreams before the rageful persona her mind was conjured. Now that she reflected over it, it was very similar to the hints of rage she felt within the link when he held back against Monoma the other day.

"In my nightmares, I'm watching from outside my body. And in that Katsuki is holding my dead body as he-" She exhales with a tremble in her limbs. "He grows bitter and his face changes. Sometimes he has a scar on half of his face, other times his hero suit is ripped apart. And he grows angry. Rageful. All because I died- I-"

"What are you afraid of, Tanaka-san?"

She knew the answer. She was afraid of losing Katsuki. Afraid of being the reason he'll lose himself.

"I don't know." Hina whispered. "Death?"

"I think you're afraid of losing Bakugo-san. Either in his death or in who he is."

"What makes you say that?"

"From the threat the villains pose to you and to him. The experiences you both faced may suggest you to feel-" She swallowed, pausing for two breaths. "-trapped within yourself. And as a way to escape that prison your mind has created, you are filtering your emotions into one feeling. That cold numbness you explained earlier."

Hina stared back at her hands, twiddling her fingers. Staring too long in the purple eyes were giving her a false sense of security and calmness. She wanted to think without Nishiyama's quirk lulling her peacefully.

Nishiyama noticed her sudden caginess. And consequently, picked up the clipboard, flipping through some pages to go through more of her report.

"How do you see your future, Tanaka-san?" She asked.

Hina thought of what she once saw in her future. During her first capture with the NVA, she only thought of the vast world outside the cell walls. Once she was with Katsuki, all she thought was of her freedom to decide her life. After falling for him, she thought of a future by his side.

But now, after seeing how much of a hold her well being poses on Katsuki, she only saw one thing.

Their separation. Her sorrow and his reluctant happiness. Him safe and her gone.

"I see myself alone. And I see Katsuki far away, living a fulfilling life without me. Maybe he finally reaches his goal of becoming the number one hero. That he continues to save every life he can touch, his kindness bleeding everywhere around him. Despite his harsh vocabulary."

"When you say alone," Nishiyama wrote another note, "where do you mean?"

Hina's eyes welled with tears. This may be the first time her deprecation was boiling over. And because of it, she couldn't bring herself to face the kind doctor and her tranquil purple eyes. She didn't want to see how Dr. Nishiyama would see straight through her.

"Somewhere Katsuki can never reach me. So the NVA could never use me as leverage against him."

Somewhere he can never meet me again.

"Wouldn't your separation hurt him more?"

"Time heals all wounds," Hina said definitively. "He'll heal. I know he will."

He'll have to.

"What if he can't?" Nishiyama exhaled, "What if you can't?"

"I'll do anything if it means to protect him." Hina finally looked up, facing those eyes with fire burning in her own; maybe if she combatted the dulcifying gaze with her fiery one she wouldn't be as affected. "I'd kill for him. I'd die for him."