Chapter 17: The Next Day

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I don't really have a good explanation for what was going through my head when I got home. I was shivering and my arms and crotch sore from being on my Ilu's hide for so long. My teeth was chattering from the cold and my eyes weary. Physically, I felt terrible.

Inside, there was the unfamiliar airiness as I scratched the spot where he had pet.

Weird.

When I returned, I just gave Father hug, apologized for being out so late and went to bed. I don't recall exactly what he told me, it was all a blur. As soon as I caught sight of my blanket, I collapsed onto my pillow.

Even then, I couldn't seem to find slumber. My heart was completely in shambles but not in a bad way, in a way I didn't seem to mind.

That seemed to be a pattern with Neteyam. For whatever reason, I didn't mind him. I never found myself wanting him to leave or stop whatever he was doing before that whole Akula incident. Even afterwards, through all those pointless rivalries, in evvery moment, even in anger, when I was absolutely convinced that he was the scum of the earth and that I hated him

I found I never could.

That scared me. So I kept fighting. Why?

But what I did tonight, going out of my way to be with him. Why did I do that? Why do I just seem to be ok with telling him stuff. I'm not usually like that.

Lying in my blanket, I began to list symptoms I might be coming down with. Maybe I was sick? Maybe that's why he was trying to be my "therapist" whatever the hell that is. He's trying assist me medically. It has to be that.

But what would that make us?

There's nothing I hate more than being confused. And this was way out of my head. I didn't know what this was. I needed to give this a name.

I don't even know anyone who would know what this is called.

No wait, I do.

Well, I did.

I said something awful to her. How could I possibly say anything?

As my eye-lids grew heavy and the sun lighter as morning loomed closer, the notion that if I didn't wake up at this moment, I'd be late to tie the mauri mangrove suspenders came to me. Not in a sudden chill of anxiety of remembering something you weren't supposed to regret but just a reminder of something idle.

Being late. Quite the rude occurrence. Am I expected to show up though? Or did I just tell myself that. I was quite comfortable and still very exhausted from the chilling evening.

I began to reason, why wake up?

I decided something. A decision for myself, I promised myself that this was my first proper decision for me and no one else.

I adjusted the blanket over my shoulder and lied on my side, sinking into the warm soft covering beneath me.

And for the first time in five years, I closed my eyes and slept in.

———------

"Sea slug." A whisper cooed.

I shifted in my pillow.

"Sea sluuuuuug." Someone sang.

I grumbled incoherently.

"Sea slug!" Someone shouted.

I flinched and quickly stood up, my hands clenched into fists but my eyes half open.

"What, what?" I swiftly asked, waiting for my vision to clear up.

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