The Bully's Brother ✔️

19

Felix's POV

I've never felt more of an idiot than I do right now. I've fucked up possibly the best thing I have in my life right now. All because I was too scared to tell people that I was also into guys. Because I'm so caught up in a hypothetical future and not wanting to destroy it that I've destroyed the best thing I have in the present.

For many nights, I haven't been able to sleep peacefully. I only get about three hours of sleep. The rest is me scrolling on my phone, looking at pictures and videos that Adrian and I made. The moments of happiness where I truly felt alive and like myself.

The guilt has been eating at me. I sometimes can't even look at Adrian because of how horrible I feel. Back then, I was riddled with anxiety because I needed to be the perfect person. But when Adrian came, I let loose. Adrian didn't see me as everyone saw me. He saw me as Felix, just Felix. His boyfriend.

I managed to corner Adrian in the bathroom one day. He was getting ready to leave but I pinned him against the wall.

"Get off me!" Adrian yelled. He struggled under me but I just needed to say something.

"Adrian!" I yelled in his face. He stopped struggling but refused to look at me. "Can we talk?" I asked.

He didn't respond. His eyes were looking down. He couldn't even look at me.

"We can't talk here." I said. "Meet me in the parking lot after my practice. I'll be in my car. Then we can talk. Okay?" I said. He didn't confirm. My hands gave out and his hands fell to his side. He pushed me lightly away and continued to leave the bathroom.

Even his walk is the walk of a defeated person.

Once practice was over, I waited in my car with Adrian's favorite snacks. I had the heat turned on and had everything perfect for us.

And I waited. And waited. And waited.

I must've sat here for almost an hour, waiting for Adrian to come. But he never did. At one point, I called his phone and left the car to check the perimeter to see if he was here. There wasn't a sign of him here.

Adrian wasn't coming. He didn't want to hear me out.

My fingers were gripping the steering wheel hard. My vision became misty from tears. Normally at this time, Adrian and I would be driving to a nice park or going to get boba, per his request. Instead, tonight, there's an empty seat next to me.

Ryan's attention was on me when I came home and harshly slammed the front door shut.

"What's gotten into you?" He asked. I saw red when Ryan turned the corner to see me. Rage had taken over and I swiftly ran to Ryan. My right arm went to Ryan's collar and pinned him against the wall.

"What the-" He gasped before I slammed him hard into the wall.

"Why did you do it?!" I spat out angrily.

"Do what?!" He stupidly asked.

"Why did you tell everyone about Adrian and I?! That wasn't any of your business! You've ruined everything!" I yelled at him.

He took a few seconds to process until the realization hit him. His pupils dilated. "Holy shit! You do like Adrian!" He gasped out.

I slammed him into the wall again. "It was none of your business. And now you've ruined the only good thing in my life!" I said.

"I ruined it?" He asked. "I may have told the guys about you and Adrian. But who was the one that denied it? Who was the one that said it was all just a joke? Hmm?" He asked.

I loosened my grip on my brother but still kept him pinned. "It was me..." I muttered out.

Truth is, Ryan had nothing to do with how my relationship is with Adrian. I could've stuck with my guns, and stayed by Adrian's side. Gotten everyone's phone and smashed them before the picture got out.

"Yeah, bro. It was you." Ryan said. I let go of his body and covered my face with my hands.

"Fuck!" I angrily said.

"Are you gonna do something about it?" Ryan asked. I turned to him to see him looking at me.

"What?" I asked, wiping a bit of loose tears.

"Are you gonna do something to get Adrian back." He said. I was frozen in thought. "I read your messages. You sound like fucking Shakespeare." He chuckled.

I began thinking. Long and hard about it. Would I really out myself for Adrian? All the fun we had, the mutual feelings, and love we shared. It was the realest thing I've ever felt.

He's worth losing everything for.

"Yeah! I'm gonna get Adrian back!" I said with determination.

Then go fix it Felix!" Ryan chuckled at his joke. Not the first time he's made that joke.

Yeah, I want Adrian back. But does he want me back? Will he forgive me? Or am I too late?

I can only hope that Adrian is able to see that I'm willing to change.

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heeeeyyyyyyyyyyyy.

i finished writing this story. now it's just a matter of uploading them. btw, chapter 26 is the last chapter.

see you on friday.

<3 sincerely, this bitch.