The Bully's Brother ✔️

17

Adrian’s POV

Usually, Friday nights would consist of me and Felix hanging out. But today, Felix’s football buddies wanted to hang out with him. Though he wanted to reject at first, I insisted he hang out with them since he’s been spending most of his time with me. 

Not that it’s a bad thing he’s with me. But a good team needs everyone to be close, and Felix needs to maintain a relationship with them all. I promised to make it up to him the next day with coffee and going to Potato Corner. 

Which leads to tonight. We were all hungry so dad took us all to go out and get food. We decided on In-N-Out. While waiting for our food, I went next door to get a milk tea. Now I’m in my room watching A Walk To Remember and doing nothing.

I kept thinking about Felix finally saying he loves me. I get all giddy about it when I think of it. My parents have told me they love me. I’ve told myself I love myself. But to hear those words from someone else, man, it changes you.

Right as Jamie was telling her pastor father she loves Landon, my phone chimed with a notification. I ignored it at first because of the movie but then another sound rang. And again. Then, my phone kept ringing constantly and kept vibrating on my desk.

Something was going on.

Usually I never get this many notifications. Only from my parents or Felix. Or when a due date is coming up.

I checked the notifications and was confused since it was private DMs from different accounts. I clicked one open and saw what it was.

‘This you?’ it said and attached was a picture Felix once took of me. It’s obvious it’s me because of my shaggy hair and lavender sweater. 

I started to panic and felt like throwing up my food. The messages kept coming. I could vaguely see some of them, all of them asking me if it was me in the picture or mocking me.

I’m being slut shamed. 

And how did they even find my account? No one besides Felix follows me. And how did they even get the picture?  

I kept trying to give Felix the benefit of the doubt, maybe he was hacked. However, I was proven wrong when Felix messaged me apologizing.

Felix
Adrian. I’m so sorry. Ryan found out about us. He sent the picture to the guys and they spread it. I told them I was just messing with you! I’m sorry!

He kept trying to apologize over and over again. Meanwhile, other messages kept humiliating me, thinking that Felix would ever love me. 

Felix said it. He said he loves me. Our names are carved in a tree. We go on dates and I slept in his bed. 

And Felix didn’t defend me.

He let me be humiliated and think I could actually land him. 

I sobbed into my pillow that night. My phone kept ringing. Sometimes I would look and see the messages and throw my phone. I kept hurting myself by looking at what others said.

When Saturday came, Felix tried to talk and get me to go out to explain but I shut him out. He was on mute. And my phone was on Do Not Disturb. I shut myself out the whole weekend and refused to talk or eat.

Then Monday came. The messages have stopped by this point. So me, being the optimistic worm I am, thought that maybe everyone forgot about what happened. That the picture was forgotten about. Or maybe that I dreamt it the whole thing.

But the whispers and stares from my peers proved my theories and hopes wrong. Because it felt like the whole world was watching me. Last week I was just a wallflower who stayed silent. Now, I’m put on display for everyone to watch and point at me.

It seems as if only the older students, mainly juniors and seniors, are the ones who know. The freshman and sophomores are mostly clueless as to why I’m all of the sudden Christ in resurrection.

My mistake was when I decided to turn around and could see people staring at my ass. Surely this counts as sexual harassment, right? Because I feel violated. People are probably wondering if I really thought I was in love with Felix.

I’ll save you the stress. I am. I still am because, as a fool, I believed in every word he said. He knew the right strings to hit and what would make me sing for him. Only for him to slice my throat and take my voice.

My fingernails were gripping into my palm. Every step, I curled my toes. And when the tears tried to escape, I pressed my tongue on the roof of my mouth. 

I sat outside AP Physics class, on the floor, trying not to have a panic attack. Everyone was gone, and I was alone in the hallway.

“Adrian?” A voice asked. I looked up to see Felix looking down at me.

“Go away!” I spat at him. 

“I need to talk to you, please?” He pleaded. I didn’t want to hear him right now. Despite his voice being so ingrained in my head to the point where I had an addiction to it, I knew I needed to cut off my supply. 

My hand did its best to help me off the floor, but the cuts from my nails hurt. I almost collapsed on the floor. 

Felix tried to help me up, but I pushed him away. “Get the hell away from me!” I yelled at him. He stepped back and watched as I struggled to help myself. Not that I’m too proud to ask for help. But I just couldn’t enjoy Felix’s touch. He used to be able to fumble me, make me weak in the knees. Now, I pushed him away.

School right now isn’t the best environment for me. I need to get out. So I checked myself out. I faked that I was sick. It was believable because every second I felt like throwing up.

As I was walking home, the tears really began to fall. It’s hard for me to understand why Felix would do this. The picture itself may not be his fault. But he didn’t stand up for our relationship. Like it meant nothing. Like I was a play thing he was fucking around with.

I think I just need to be alone for the moment. And try not the bleed more into this mess.

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exhausted rn :(

bye <3