actions speak louder than words {karlnap}

chapter 34

CW// angst

(Karl POV)

"Okay," I snap, slamming the door behind me, hard enough I hear a picture fall off the wall in the next room over. "I'm sick of this 'I hate you now and I'm not gonna talk to you out of pure spite' act. So we're going to talk about why you've suddenly taken an extreme disliking to me -- for whatever reason -- like mature adults. Because, apparently, that's what we are. For the most part."

Alex looks up, frowning. He doesn't reply, just keeps staring. We stare at each other for a solid minute before he looks away, turning back to whatever homework assignment he's doing. 

"Alex, for fuck's sake, talk to me," I say, walking over. 

I don't need this right now. I just got back from a 12 hour MrBeast shoot, which I didn't participate in, only filmed. Which also means I was standing the entire time, and I only got two breaks because Jimmy wanted to finish it today, which meant we didn't have a chance to take our time. I'm in pain, hungry, thirsty, and very tired. Ergo, not a good mood. 

Alex is making it worse.

"Nothing to talk about," he grunts.

I'll count that as a success; it's his first words to me in two weeks. 

I scoff loudly. "Oh, sure," I say. "Because there's nothing to say in two weeks you've been ignoring me for no reason, after one stupid kiss on New Year's."

"Stupid?" he asks loudly, looking up at me. "It was stupid to you? Worthless? Pointless?"

I groan. "No, Alex-"

"You're the one who initiated it!"

"You asked !" I exclaim. 

He stands suddenly, his papers slipping to the floor and his mattress. "Yeah, well maybe I just wanted to feel like someone on this god-forsaken planet actually cared about me again, but of course you had to run back to your boyfriend, like you always do."

I frown deeply. "Well, I wonder why I always run back to my boyfriend of all people!" 

Alex scoffs, looking away. 

"And I did not run back to him, you ran off with no explanation, and then got mad at me when I dared kiss him!" I exclaim. "Alex, you can't make me the bad guy here."

"So what, I'm the bad guy then?" he argues. 

I cover my face with my hands and groan. "No, there is no bad guy here, Alex," I say. "But you're ignoring me for no good reason, and I just want to know why!" 

"Karl, you don't even know my reason!" Alex shouts. "You keep saying it's 'no good reason' but you haven't even heard it!" 

"Then tell me!" I yell. "Tell me your reason, talk to me about why you're acting like this, because this is driving me absolutely nuts!" 

He turns away, digging the heels of his palms into his eyes. My shoulders shake with either lack of oxygen from the yelling, or oncoming tears I'm trying to keep at bay. Honestly, I don't even know anymore. 

He turns back around, expression sour. "I don't owe you shit," he says darkly. His tone is calm, but not peaceful calm -- that scary calm villains sometimes have that just tells you shits about to get real. On him, it's absolutely terrifying.

I shake my head. "No, you don't," I mutter. "But I'd like to think you owe me an explanation for why you've been ignoring me, when neither of us did anything wrong."

"No, I've been doing everything wrong," Alex says loudly. He sighs, rubbing his hands over his face. For the first time since we landed, he doesn't look angry; he just looks pained. "I hate myself," he mutters, sitting back down on the edge of his mattress, hugging his arms to his sides.