actions speak louder than words {karlnap}

chapter 2

(Nick POV)

It's hard. 

Knowing that your boyfriend is leaving for four months at the end of the summer. It's really hard.

I know we'll be okay through Karl's leave of absence, but part of me still thinks that he'll find some guy who's smarter and better than me and he'll leave me. I desperatley want to kill that part of me, but it screams louder than I do sometimes. 

I want to tell Karl what I'm thinking, but that same part of me has me convinced if I do, then he'll think I'm weird or clingy or something. And that's the last thing I want him to think right now.

But right now, I'm preoccupied. 

Karl writes something else down on his notebook and hands it over to the others. They take a second to read before giggling. 

I chew the inside of my cheek thoughtfully. I know he doesn't like writing everything down; he's confessed he thinks it's awkward for them to have to sit and watch as he writes. 

"Who's excited for college?" George asks, leaning against the couch Dream is sitting on. His face says he's anything but excited.

At least you'll still have your boyfriend in the same city.

"We graduated a week ago," Skeppy says. "Calm down, George."

Karl giggles quietly next to me. We both watch as our friends start bickering. Everything's normal, then.

But Karl's mini-predicament still chews at my gut.

(Karl POV)

Nick glances over at me for the third time in a span of 30 seconds. I sigh and give him a pointed look. He smiles nervously. I just give him a harder look. He shoots our friends a quick glance before leaning in so close, his warm breath hits my lips.

"Have you ever thought about learning ASL?" he asks. "We could all learn it. Maybe that way you could 'talk' to them." He nods in the direction of our friends, where Dream and George are having a tickle fight, and Bad and Skeppy are laughing at something on Bad's phone. I guess we're all just trying to enjoy our time together before George, Skeppy, and I leave for college.

I shrug. "Maybe once or twice," I murmur. "We could do it, sure."

Nick smiles weakly. "We don't have to do it. It's just a suggestion at this point."

I exhale heavily. I pull out my communication notebook -- it's nearly full, I need to get more -- and write if I have the opportunity to stop using this while still at home, I'll take it. 

Nick smiles as he reads what I wrote. "Guys?" he says, turning to look at the others. 

"What's up?" Dream asks, half on top of a very giggly George.

Bad sighs. "Dream, get off of him," he says, waving a hand at him. Dream giggles, but does as told. 

"What do we think about ASL?" Nick asks. "So Karl doesn't have to write whenever he has something he wants to say? He could just sign it if he wants. Plus, it could be helpful to us all in the future."

Skeppy coughs. "Simp," he mutters before clearing his throat. Nick blows a raspberry in his direction. 

"Says you," he says, wrapping an arm over my shoulders and pulling me closer. 

Skeppy scoffs. "Duh." He presses a big, sloppy kiss to Bad's cheek as he snakes an arm around his waist. Bad just giggles. 

"I'm down for ASL," George says. In the two minutes our attention was elsewhere, he managed to pull Dream down to the floor, face down, and now his boyfriend is his personal stool. 

Of course.

"I'm just gonna look up ASL classes for us," Nick mutters, stilfling giggles. 

~~

Yeah...

He never did that.

Because now it's a completely new day and all we did was play games. I still want to -- it might be useful next year -- but signing up will have to wait for another day.

I lay down, facing the popcorned ceiling, my headphones slipped over my ears, music turned nearly all the way up. Nick would get mad at me, because this isn't good for my ears, but I couldn't give two shits.

Chills blares through my headphones. My eyes shut as I clutch my phone. This song is a mix of all the memories from last year. It's a mix of all the different emotions I experienced -- I am experiencing. It's everything Nick and I are.

It's also just a song, but I'm making it poetic. I'm in love -- it's allowed.

I feel someone sit down next to me and I bolt up. Nick winces. I pause the song and flip of my headphones. "Sorry," he says quietly. I grin. 

"It's fine," I reply. "What's up?"

He doesn't answer. Just motions for me to move over. And I understand. 

I move towards the other side of the bed to make room for him and lay down. I reach over to place my headphones and phone on my bedside table as Nick rests his head against my other pillow. 

I right myself and turn to face him. He tilts his head to look at me. I grin and whisper a small "hi." 

He giggles. "Hi."

"Nap?" I ask. He grins and nods. I smile and turn the other way. I feel his arm wrap around my waist and he pulls my closer, until my back is pressed against his chest. Flustered, I bury my head into my pillow and smile to myself. 

Anxiety rolls through my veins as I realize what I'll be missing when I leave. He can't cuddle me from North Carolina. He can't hug me when I wake up with nightmares from the crash that killed Dad. He can't wake me up with surprise waffles when I'm sharing a dorm with a stranger. He can't kiss me until my face turns red when I'm in college and he's here. 

I guess Nick knows what's on my mind, because he whispers, "the distance won't hurt, Karl." He presses a kiss to the back of my neck. Goosebumps ripple out over the patch of skin at the sudden touch, but I'm not resisting it. 

I cuddle further against him, and he holds me closer. I need to stop focusing on the future, and focus instead on the here and now I have. 

Word Count 1036

~A/N~

just a fluffy filler chapter :D

also, almost 100 reads in three days? pog?

btw i'm leaving tmr for like a week so i cant post anything more, BUT i will be writing more of this in my fAnFiCtIoN notebook (yes i have a fanfiction notebook its very popular among my two friends)

love you <333