This is How it Starts || Ashton Irwin

Chapter 22 || all downhill

Michael parks the car and I don't even wait for him to get out, I just dart towards the entrance. I trip over the cobbled path, my hair pushing back.

I sprint though the sliding doors and catch my breath at the front desk.

"I'm here to see Ashton Irwin." I gasp.

"One second please...." the lady stretched and types something onto her computer. "Okay, only immediate family is allowed to see him at the moment, but you're welcome to wait in our lounge area."

I huff and make my way over to the row of couches. I notice Luke hunched over with his hands in his hair. I make my way over and sit next to him. His blonde locks are ruffled and not in the usual quiff. He looks up, his cheeks tear stained, his under eyes puffy and red.

"It's all my fault," he coughs.

"No it's not," I place a hand on his shoulder. He shutters.

"I told him I was going to kill myself. He freaked out and sped to my house," Luke sobs.

"It's okay," I tell him, fighting back my tears.

"We can't go see him," he looks up from his hands.

"I know, we will see him later though," I say, not truly believing my self.

"And what if we don't! I couldn't live with myself." he runs his hands through his hair.

"Shhhh, You're talking crazy."

We sit together in silence. When Michael joins us he doesn't say anything either. We're all thinking the same thing. What if. What if it's more serious than we think. Ashton said he loved me, he truly loves me. I never got the chance to say it back.

"You three here for Ashton Irwin?" A tall male nurse asks us after a whole hour.

"Yes," I answer for all three.

"He's only allowed two people at the moment." He tells us.

Through some silent agreement, Luke and I got up and followed the Nurse. Hospitals have always creeped me out. They all smell like urine and hand sanitizer which isn't very satisfying. We pass crying families and doctors trying to comfort. How could you have a job like that? Always being the bearer of bad news.

We walked down a long corridor and through two foyers until we finally made it to Ashton's room. Alice was outside the door crying. When she saw it was me, she grabbed my shoulders and pulled me in for a hug. I felt her shaking under my arms.

"It's pretty bad." She shivers.

I don't know what to say. I never know what to say. I just want to see him right now.

"You go first," Luke places a hand on my back, "I'll stay here."

Alice releases me from her grasp and steps away from the door. I stand there, preparing myself for what might lay inside.