Miracle Within My Heart

13. Noah

Don't be nervous, you're just going to be alone with a man you can't seem to get out of your mind and want him to be in your life, more than anyone you've ever met. He's special and last night showed me that when he told me about how he grew up, how his father left, how he was so poor he didn't eat for days at times, how he had no real home, his mom dying, and finally his work. I was stunned by everything he had told me but I'm also so proud of him and the life he built for himself and helping so many people. 

He got a lot more attractive let me tell ya. I wanted to take him to his bedroom last night because nothing else is sexier than a man who is vulnerable and shows you a side he hides away from the rest of the world but I couldn't, it was a busy evening with his friend and three girls around. 

I was also surprised to hear him mention being with David as well. Now don't get me wrong David is a nice kind handsome man but I haven't given it much thought to be with him before Joshua mentioned it now it seems to be on my mind some since I have had time to think. I've never been one to share who I'm with but it also hasn't really been a possibility before but for now, I'm going to focus on my sweet Joshua tonight.

Mary and I spent all day cooking and making cookies plus a couple of pies, homemade yeast rolls and I smoked the ham so hopefully dinner will be good. I'm also really looking forward to dessert and I don't mean the food. I can't wait to have Joshua in my bed. I haven't had sex in a few years and every time I'm with Joshua, my hormones are all over the place. The way he smells just drives me crazy and the fact he's drop dead gorgeous doesn't help me any. If we don't go all the way tonight I'm ok with that but we're going to go somewhere tonight. If we have sex once, all night long or a couple of times I'm ok with that, I just need some kind of release dammit. I'm tired of cold showers and my imagination. 

"You gonna get the door?" Mary asked and I shook my head and she giggled and pointed to the door.

"He knocked a few seconds ago." She said and so I stood up and went to answer the door and opened it to a smiling and fidgeting Joshua. 

"Hi Noah." He smiled even more and I welcomed him inside and I took his coat and he waited till I hung it up before he hugged me and I relaxed in his arms and hugged him back.

"I missed you." He whispered and I kissed his neck below his ear and inhaled his scent, fresh out of the shower and I felt him shiver when my nose skinned against his sensitive skin.

"I missed you too. Did you have a good day?" I asked and felt him nod against me.

"Are we going to stand here all night because that might prove to be a little difficult since dinner is about done." I chuckled when he whined and let me go but not before stealing a quick kiss on my lips before he went to the kitchen and I shook my head smiling as I followed. 

I leaned against the doorframe just watching him and Mary talk and laugh as they worked so I went and grabbed a dish and took it to the table before they did as well and once we had everything on the table, we sat down and said Grace before we started eating and having a nice conversation. It felt like two dads and their kid, a family full of love and happiness and it's thanks to Joshua and his accent that I even met him. I in no way am happy he got hurt so don't think that's what I meant. It just seems he appeared in my life when I needed someone and the same for him with me. 

I feel everything that has happened in my life has led me up to this point, all the pain, heartache, loss, feeling like I failed, feeling I was unlovable but that all changed when I met Joshua. I know we have a long road ahead of us but I'm happy we will be together to face any challenge we may face. 

I know it's not what you expected but I just didn't have the motivation to continue this book and I have been working on it on and off for almost 2 years so I am ending it here. Thank you for being patient with me and again I apologize if it's not how you wanted it to end. I love you all!