𝐃𝐄𝐂𝐄𝐏𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 | 𝟏𝟖+

chapter twenty one

"What did you share with them?" I remained silent, unwilling to share since it was none of his concern. I hadn't answered their questions, and even if I had, he would have been known to the information. His head tilted slightly, and he stood up from his chair. In just three strides, he was in front of me. So close, -so dangerously close, my heart raced, and I felt a lump in my throat. I lowered my gaze to the floor, only for it to be lifted by his hand. His hand was calloused yet held a gentle touch, a sensation I wished never to part from. For the first time, his eyes met mine, and I struggled to breathe.

"What words did you share to them, and what were their words to you?" he questions again, his grip on my chin growing firmer. I moistened my bottom lip with the tip of my tongue before responding. "I didn't share much, and neither did they. They asked questions, most of which I couldn't answer, so I didn't."

A soft hum escaped his lips. His thumb brushed against the top of my bottom lip, and he studied it intently. His gaze remained fixed until he posed another question, "What did you witness last night, during our encounter?" My mind instantly floods with the memories of him last night. It was still unreal. Having to witness that in real time, for the second time was certainly something I never thought I'd ever experienced, not ever.

"All I really remembered was that you were in some kind of trance. I called your name out, and you didn't respond. You were staring out into my bedroom, and your body was still. You were saying something, but I can't remember what," I fibbed about the last part of my sentence; I'm not sure why, but my mind compelled me to do so.

It was as if he struggled to grasp my words, his gaze momentarily drifting to something beyond before returning to meet mine. I was mistaken. It wasn't him who was trapped in a trance; it was me. The closeness we shared felt surreal, something I'd never thought possible with a man like him in a million years. Since the very beginning when we first met, he had me utterly fascinated. From that moment at the party, to the night we danced together, and the following conversations we had, he embodied everything I should have avoided. But avoiding him was impossible. No matter what I did, I couldn't stay away. It defied all reason and possibility.

Finally, his grip of my chin loosened and the warm touch which I think I enjoyed had suddenly went away, and the coldness replaced it. He took a step back, enough to give us space. His bare hands dangled to the side of him, as his eyes ran through my entire figure.

"Do you hate me?" His unexpected question caught me off guard, leaving me grappling for an answer. The truth was, I found myself trapped in a web of confused emotions. Hatred seemed the logical response, considering he was the one who had taken away my family, unraveling the fabric of my life within a mere three months. His actions were the catalyst for the chaos that ensued, leaving me with a sense of loss and bitterness. Yet, he had also taken me from a family I had longed to escape. My life had never been a picture-perfect tale, and this ordeal was merely the bitter icing on an already imperfect cake. My mind waged a relentless battle, torn between the impulse to loathe him for the devastation he caused.

"I don't know," I responded, my gaze momentarily meeting his unwavering and intimidating stare. His eyes shifted from me to a nearby chair, and he returned to it, sinking into its confines. His hands rested heavily on his knees as a heavy silence enveloped the room-a silence I found disconcerting.

"I want you to hate me. In fact, I need you to," he uttered, his words hanging in the air, revealing a depth of complexity in the bitter silence.

"I didn't go through with the plan that day I rescued Stella from your father," he began, and I listened. "I always have backup plans, but that day, I only needed to stick to plan A, but I didn't. And it was because of you. It was always because of you. Everything I did from the moment I met you was for you. It was never for me, or for Stella, or for Nicholas. It was always for you. And ever since that day, I just knew that you were going to be a part of my downfall. For the first time in my life, I'm terrified," he finished.

I never knew a man like him could be afraid of anything. If anything, I expected him to fear monsters, his enemies, or even God himself. But no, he was terrified of only one person, and that person was me.

"When I asked you what you saw last night, you simply lied," he declared. His words hit me like a chord.

I shake my head, mere seconds away from uttering my next lie. However, he tilts his head and places his index finger over the top and bottom of his lips. "You're not a good liar. We've been here for about an hour, and you haven't given me a convincing look. Remember, your eyes and body language reveal everything."

"You heard something last night. If you could just tell me, I would explain. What did you hear, Aria?" he asked, and this time my mind compels me to tell the absolute truth.

"Remember, when you're lost in the darkness, always look for the light," I reply.

Silence envelops the atmosphere again. My eyes drop to Ronan. His chest heaves, and his hand trembles profusely. What does the quote mean? Why is it causing his tremors? What do the tremors even signify?

My legs drag their way over to Ronan, and I can't help but grab the trembling hand. The day everything happened, I noticed something. I noticed how, upon contact with him, his tremors vanish. His chest isn't heavy, his breath is calm, and his heartbeat is steady. I take his hand and bring it up to my chest, exactly where my heart is. I place my hand onto his chest, where his heart is, and I use my other hand to bring his face to mine, and once again, our eyes lock.

"Close your eyes and just listen to my voice," he obeys, closing his eyes.

"Feel the steadiness of my heartbeat and try to mirror it with your own. Count to five, open your eyes, and take a deep breath," I whisper.

After five seconds, Ronan opens his eyes and inhales deeply through his nose, then exhales through his mouth. I continue to feel and listen to his heartbeat, and it begins to steady, and his hand no longer trembles. He mirrors my every move. I slowly dip the side of my head to the middle of his chest, and my ear covers his heart. His heartbeat is normal, and the warmth of his chest sends an electric shock through my entire body. Finally, I lift my head, but only for it to go back down because Ronan uses his hand and softly presses it back down to where it was.

"Stay," he pauses, looking down at me. "Please. I need this."