Rogues

Chapter XXIV

- I was just studying, nothing important. – she says and reaches for my hand.

I hesitate to grab her hand, but I do, nonetheless. I sigh in silence. I can feel her hand on mine. It's so small and it feels so smooth against my skin. I find myself staring at my hand. It doesn't feel right, not anymore. Before, I liked to hold hands with her, I would look down at her tiny hands and think they were so fragile. I felt like protecting them, like protecting her. But since Caleb and I developed the mate bond it doesn't feel the same. There's no electricity brushing against my skin when our hands touching. They just feel cold and foreign.

- On a Saturday? – I ask, conflicted by her words. No one studies on Saturdays.

- Well, yeah. There are a lot of things I need to supervise. So, I study on Saturdays to get ahead of things. – she responds with a small laugh. She's so responsible. – Not everyone can be the star quarterback and skip homework. – she jokes a little, making me smile.

- What were you studying? – I ask nervously. I don't know how to bring up the subject.

- I don't want to talk about school, Nate. I haven't seen you this week other than in classes. What's up? – she asks, trying to change the topic.

- You're right, sorry. – I say. – I wanted to talk with you. – I admit, I can feel my heart pounding.

- Okay, tell me. – she said with a smile, carefree, not suspecting anything.

- So, I've been thinking... and I feel like we've been... - I started saying but she interrupted me.

- Oh, my god. You're breaking up with me. – she says with a surprised tone.

How did she? I can see her face, filled with worry. She lets go of my hand and I can hear her heart beating faster. Her scent starts to change, smelling more like fear and worry. She's staring deep into my eyes with that same look, not believing what's happening. I start feeling terrible, my stomach feels heavy; filled with guilt and anguish, I wonder if this is how wolfsbane poisoning feels like. My head starts spinning, thinking of a million ways to answer, but I'm dumbfounded.

- Yeah. – I lamely respond. Her eyes break, but she's controlling herself from crying.

- Why? – her voice a little higher than her usual, almost breaking.

- I... - I stop and think of what to say. – It hasn't been the same, Nadia. With football practices, school, and all the events you organize, we haven't spent that much time together. – I begin saying.

- Oh, so it's my fault? – she says defensively.

- What? No, of course not. That's not what I meant. – I tell her firmly.

- Then what do you mean? – she demands more desperate.

- We're not good together, not anymore. – I say.

- What are you saying? I've always helped you and supported you in every decision, I go to your football games even though I don't know anyone, we don't fight, and I respect your privacy. What doesn't work Nathan? Tell me. – she says more upset. I can hear her heart beating faster.

- It's not that. I've been so busy with everything lately, I... I don't think I can give you the time you need. – I tell her softly, keeping my temper.

- And you just want to break things up like that? You could've come to me, and we could've figured something out. I could organize myself better, not enter all school activities... - she suggests.

- You love all that, it wouldn't be fair to you. – I say.

- No, you breaking up with me with no reason whatsoever, that's not fair. – she disagrees. – Tell me the truth, Nathan. What's going on? –