My Lifeline

31

I nod my head and force a smile. "Just ill...and tired."

Tired, but not in the way he thinks.

Will sighs, dipping his head to stare down into his dark coffee.

"I was worried about you. I did text."

I never even checked my phone. I always keep it on silent to disconnect from the rest of the world.

"I'm sorry. I didn't see it."

"It's okay. I wasn't expecting you to reply. You never do."

"I hate texting," I assure him in an apologetic tone.

"I know. It's okay." He chuckles slightly, stirring the contents with a metal teaspoon.

I try to keep up my smile, but it falters for a split second.

"So..." He pauses and bites down on his bottom lip, not yet returning his eyes to my face. "I accepted the date with Blythe."

Bile rises in my throat. I smile. "Oh, yeah? That's cool."

He nods his head, pressing his lips into a flat line. "Yeah, I suppose it is."

"Where are you going?"

My throat feels like it's bleeding.

"I'm not sure yet."

"Oh, right...well...I hope you both have a nice time."

He doesn't look very appreciative. Am I not doing enough? I'm trying to be as supportive as possible, but I seem to be failing.

"So, you think I should go?"

I shrug my shoulders. "If you want. It's not my decision."

Will pokes the inside of his cheek with his tongue, shaking his head with an annoyed expression present. "Fuck sake, River." Evident frustration is swarming his eyes.

I recoil my head as my face drops. Suddenly I'm confused all over again.

"What?" I whisper, my heart thumping at the thought of him being upset with me. That's the last thing I want.

"Just give me something. Anything!"

I blink my eyes a few times, confused to say the least. My throat bobbles as I gulp. "I don't understand what you mean."

"You just—" He exhales a deep breath. "—You just sit there with the same expression on your face, speaking in the same tone, saying the same things. I don't understand. Are you completely empty? Why can't you say what you're actually thinking? Why won't you be honest?"

My eyes begin to water, but no tears falls, because apparently I don't want to prove Will wrong.

"I'm just trying to help you," I whisper. "I don't know what more you want me to do."

"What?"

"You're upset because I'm not supporting you enough. I am trying my hardest. I'm sorry, I'm just not used to this," I explain quietly.