Can't You See Me?

twenty four

"Baby calm down. I'll help you, just take a deep breath and try not to get too upset. You're going to graduate and we'll figure out the rest after that. Just one step at a time." After a couple seconds the sniffling stopped and there was silence.

"I miss you so much, I've been a terrible friend to you." Friend.

"I miss you too and no you haven't. You're a great friend and we'll see each other in a couple days." I just heard Haerin hum and then muffled voices in the background. "Whose with you?"

"Oh just Hyein and Leeseo." Hyein and Haerin got much closer once I left and basically hung out all the time. I would know since Hyein likes to rub it in my face every once and a while. Leeseo however, I've never heard that name before.

"Leeseo?"

"Oh she transferred to Ador this year and she is on the yearbook staff with me. She is really nice. You would like her." Something about the way she said that made me feel upset. Something feels wrong. I don't even know this Leeseo girl and no one has ever mentioned her before..why?

"Nice well I'm about to get lunch with Hanni and Danielle so i'll just talk to you later." Haerin just says a quick goodbye and hangs up the phone not giving me the chance to say anything else.

-

"Can you two stop making out in front of me before I throw up." Dani immediately throws Hanni off of her making Hanni fall off the couch and onto the floor.

"Fucking Christ Dani that hurt!" Hanni gets up rubbing her butt from the hard fall on the floor. Dani just pulls her back down onto the couch next to her.

"You two are so cute it's disgusting I hate it." Danielle and Hanni have been officially together for about a year. Dani came to the U.S. for college, but she goes to Columbia. It's only a little over two hours from where we are so it's not that hard for them to see each other every once and a while. Oh and when they do it's like they are dogs in heat. When Dani is in town I try to avoid our dorm room at all costs, but alas I needed to pack for my trip back to Korea.

"Don't act like you wouldn't act the same way with Haerin."

"Haerin and I aren't together Hanni so no I wouldn't be trying to eat her alive like you were currently doing to Danielle. Also Danielle I thought I raised you better than this. Why would you let Hanni do these horrible things to you?" Hanni just scoffs and rolls her eyes while Danielle's face becomes about three shades redder.

"Minji hush we were just kissing." Dani lets out in a frantic manner causing me to giggle.

"Yeah this time." Both of the girls on the couch gasped causing me to laugh even harder. "I'm just playing, calm down." Eventually the other two girls were laughing too. I'm glad Hanni and Danielle are happy but sometimes I can't help but to be a little jealous of them. I can tell how much they love each other, and is it really that wrong for me to wish the same for Haerin and I. It just seems no matter what the world is pulling us away from each other.

"Are you ready to go home?" Dani asks with a knowing smile on her face.

"I have never been more ready for anything. I can't believe you won't be coming back with us." Danielle just pouts as Hanni brings her closer to her side. How sweet.

"I can't pass up on this internship. It's a once in a lifetime opportunity. I already apologized to Haerin and sent her graduation present in the mail." Dani got offered an internship at vogue for photography and honestly it's amazing. She really deserves it and we're all happy for her.

"I'm going to miss you so much, promise you'll call every night." Hanni buries her head in Danielle's neck.

"Of course I'll call you. Stop being a big baby." Hanni just groans, hugging the younger girl tighter. God I got to get out of here.

"Well I'm going to pack and then go for a walk to give you guys some alone time." I awkwardly began packing up my stuff trying not to glance at the couple on the couch.

-

I usually walk around campus at night to collect my thoughts. I know it's not safe, but it's the only way I've stayed sane these past two years. I haven't seen anyone since Haerin. I haven't even been tempted to go out with anyone. There have been several guys and girls that have been interested in me, but I let them know early on that there was no chance for us that my heart belonged with another. Honestly sometimes I'm not too sure Haerin feels the same way. Does she think about me as much as I think about her? Has anyone tried to ask her out? Have her and Niki kissed or grown closer over these past two years. She doesn't mention him anymore. I don't think I've heard her talk about him since my first semester in college. I do know that he goes to SNU, but that's only because of instagram. He also regularly posts photos of them together so I know they still hang out. So why doesn't she mention him anymore? Haerin hasn't posted anything on her instagram since Hanni and I's graduation and it was just a photo of us, Dani, Hanni, and Hyein. Every once and a while I go and look at it, just as I was doing right now when I see she posted a new photo today. It was of her and some other girl hugging her from behind with her head on Haerin's shoulder with Hyein in the background making a funny face.

That must be the Leeseo girl. I analyzed the photo for a couple minutes and came to the conclusion that I don't like that girl. Why is she touching her like that? I just don't understand how they got so close without Haerin mentioning her once. In fact she wouldn't have mentioned her unless I said something. Who is she? I liked the photo anyway and looked through the comments where I saw a comment from Leeseo.

My beautiful girl...oh Hyein was here too?

My beautiful girl? What the hell is that supposed to mean? As I looked down, Haerin commented back to her.

Stop flirting with me or else we'll have to get married

You have to be kidding me. Surely this is all a joke. I need to get home right now so I can talk to her. God what if she doesn't want to be with me anymore.

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