Convoke

Chapter 26

"Why would she tell Gerry? He doesn't seem to like you very much."

"He doesn't." Tom blinked up at the sky, feeling the cold stinging tears. "My sister said it was an accident."

"Why doesn't he like you?"

"Because I call him out when he's being a bigot. We first clashed over his hatred of demons, and then his sexism. He has hated me ever since I screamed at Neasa not to marry him after a big argument. My parents hate him too, but they're supporting the relationship because my sister wants her daughter to grow up with the illusion that her parents love each other."

"Oh, not good."

"No, not good," Tom mumbled as a tear stroked the side of his face. He quickly wiped it away, smiling through the pain of years of living with someone who made his home cold. "But it just means that my sister lets him be a twat to me, so he always thinks that he's right."

Ezra was silent for a moment, watching another tear following the same route as the last. "I can take his soul if you want?"

Tom scoffed, wiping the tear away and sitting up. "Tempting, but I don't do revenge."

"Pity, I would have enjoyed it."

"And I would have enjoyed you enjoying it."

"And I would have enjoyed that you enjoyed that I was enjoying it."

Tom chuckled and the sun dried his tears. He never thought that he would be relying on a demon to cheer him up in farmer Joel's field, after being outed by his brother-in-law. A funny old life, he thought, picturing famer Joel saying it in his thick accent whilst chewing on a long blade of grass. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"For making me feel better."

Ezra's concerned face brightened. "Well, I'm learning how to be a friend."

Tom glanced up at him through his lashes. "Friends also hug to help make them feel better."

Ezra blushed. His large eyes circled Tom's face before he stood up and held out both hands. Tom took them, and they were cold against his own, but soft and secure as they helped him up. They wrapped around each other like woven wool, pulled tightly, never to unravel.

Tom's head found its usual place against Ezra's shoulder. Ezra's chin rested into his hair. One arm was strongly locked around Tom's shoulders while his other hand softly rubbed between his shoulder blades. Tom's arms were around his waist with fistfuls of his hoodie in each hand, wishing to be even closer.

"Everything will be alright," Ezra soothed.

Tom closed his eyes and believed him. With each inhale, anxiety filled his lungs. With each exhale, anxiety left him until he felt nothing but calm and at ease with the situation. He had melted into Ezra who held him tightly enough not to notice if his knees had grown weak. Tom knew then that he would always have his support, whether they were friends or something more.

"I think you should go home," Ezra whispered, half hoping the wind would take his words before Tom could hear. "Just to get it over with, so you're not wondering how your parents will react."

Tom nodded against him. "If Gerry's still there, I'll end up arguing again."

"He's not. He left shortly after you did."

"Well, that's something positive at least." Tom smiled up at the demon looking down. They stared at each other's lips. Tom lifted his hands, settling them onto the side of Ezra's face. He softly tugged him, so their heads grew closer. Ezra's eyes were burning with the same desire in Tom's chest. He wanted to feel his hands all over him, to feel his lips all over him, to have his eyes all over him.

But Ezra only allowed his head to be pulled so far. He paused when they could feel each other's breath. He gently shook his head and held Tom's wrists, pulling his hands from his face, and resting them on his chest. "We can't," he whispered, wearing his agony like a well-loved jumper full of fraying edges.

Tom weaved his sadness within his smile. "Walk me home?" he asked.

"Of course."

They walked side by side, occasionally bumping arms, with fingers flicking towards each other, hoping to touch but never quite getting near enough.

"I'll wait in the bushes. Summon me if you need me. If not, I'm happy to just be out here, where I'm close."

Tom nudged him. "Careful, that almost sounds like you're flirting."

Ezra turned pink all over. His eyes darted around the beer garden. "Um," he cleared his throat and shoved hands into his hoodie pockets. "Please go inside. I don't know how to respond to that."

Tom laughed and left him standing all flustered on the path. But once he was inside, the atmosphere sucked any joy from his soul, and lay heavy on his chest. He wanted to run back to the demon waiting outside, and to spend the day with him, talking nonsense and pretending everything was ordinary.

He dragged himself up the stairs with a thumping heart. His parents stopped talking when he lingered by the door to the living room, trying to look them in the eye but not quite seeing them out of fear of seeing anything other than love.

"Hey," he said quietly. "Where's Neasa?"

"Gone out with her twat of a husband," Moira said, tapping fingers against her teacup before patting the empty space next to her on the couch. His dad lounged in his reclining armchair, though he sat forwards when Tom joined them.

"Did you talk to them before they left?" Tom asked.

"No," Declan said, eyeing Moira who gave him an encouraging nod. "Listen son, we don't have to talk about this if you're not ready."

Tom watched his own hands fidget as if they had a mind of their own. He wanted to retreat to his bedroom, but there would still be something unspoken between them, always waiting to be said. When he finally connected their gazes, they were both smiling reassuringly, with a warmth that had always been there. "No, I think it's time now."